The past few weeks have been crazy! On top of my first book release, I've started a new day job that requires longer hours and no internet access (I'm definitely feeling the deprivation). As a wife, mother, and woman with a bazillion things that need to be done, I can relate with the need to juggle and make things work. We all have to do it. And when change comes into our lives, so do new coping strategies.
At least, I'm hoping they do! I've been trying out several different things, working to make everything run smoothly and also leave time for me to write and sleep and have some kind of a life. As we all know, there's never any definitive answers, and as soon as our families settle into a pattern something new usually comes along. But for now, here's a few goals that I'm aiming for every day:
1. Keep meals simple, utilize the crockpot often, and save the meal for the weekend if its going to take to long to prepare. Oh, and we're eating plenty of leftovers. I'm hoping if we have frozen foods once or twice a week, there won't be any lasting damage!
2. Use my lunch break to get in some writing or plotting, so that I've already started the process before I finally get to write at home. This usually nets me at least 500 words, and really rejuvenates me during the day. It also helps me feel like I'm accomplishing something on those nights when we have too many things going on and I have to hit the bed without writing.
3. Don't multitask. At least in terms of creativity and family. Now household chores, sure, it works great. But my creativity needs one-on-one time, and so does my family, even if its short bursts. That's a whole new way of thinking about things for me, and will take a little adjustment. Okay, a lot. :) I'm slow, but I eventually get there.
4. Take time for me. Just because life is busy, I work 2 jobs, and always seem to be behind on something, doesn't mean I don't deserve some free time now and again. In fact, I work better if I give myself a break. That's a hard 1 to remember, but it really is true! This might mean a nice, hot bath, or a couple of days to read a book.
As you know, I'm always open to suggestions! I'm still struggling to fit in exercise, keep up with the kids' school stuff, and keep the house clean (though I'm proud to say that we still wouldn't be shut down if the health inspector came, even if I haven't dusted in almost a month). Tell me, how do you do it all? What do you let slide? Where do you spend your time wisely?
Dani
[caption id="attachment_253" align="aligncenter" width="228"]
From My Family to Yours[/caption]
As an author, I'm on a slow learning curve when it comes to social media (blogging, Twitter, Facebook, etc) and how to use it to connect with readers, fellow authors, and industry professionals (and I truly mean connect, not bombard with promotional posts). I'm not the best at it, but I'm truly trying to figure some aspects of it out. I'm an introvert, but also enjoy social interaction. The perfectionist in me wants to do it RIGHT (or at least, not embarrass myself in public).
In my search to learn all I can, I've been reading a blog by Kristen Lamb that is absolutely invaluable in this area and many other aspects of a writer's journey. The post I'm sharing with you today is about rest. If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you might have seen that this is a problem area for me. I want to rest, but then I feel guilty about resting because I should be DOING something during that time. But Kristen discusses what I've long suspected and struggle to absorb: sometimes stopping to rest means farther progress in the long run.
Check it out!
http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/add-word-count-why-dead-bodies-are-good-for-the-living/
Dani
From My Family to Yours[/caption]
As an author, I'm on a slow learning curve when it comes to social media (blogging, Twitter, Facebook, etc) and how to use it to connect with readers, fellow authors, and industry professionals (and I truly mean connect, not bombard with promotional posts). I'm not the best at it, but I'm truly trying to figure some aspects of it out. I'm an introvert, but also enjoy social interaction. The perfectionist in me wants to do it RIGHT (or at least, not embarrass myself in public).
In my search to learn all I can, I've been reading a blog by Kristen Lamb that is absolutely invaluable in this area and many other aspects of a writer's journey. The post I'm sharing with you today is about rest. If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you might have seen that this is a problem area for me. I want to rest, but then I feel guilty about resting because I should be DOING something during that time. But Kristen discusses what I've long suspected and struggle to absorb: sometimes stopping to rest means farther progress in the long run.
Check it out!
http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/add-word-count-why-dead-bodies-are-good-for-the-living/
Dani
I was privileged to have SNOW BOUND go live on Amazon last week, then Smashwords over the weekend. There were a lot of technical things for me to figure out (and I'm NOT technically minded, believe me), and blog posts for me to prepare for the next month. I chose to go ahead and get those ready, because I start a new full time job next week. Learning new people and a new computer system, I have no idea what level my creative brain will be functioning at next week.
Full time work (and somehow I never get the jobs that have lots of downtime), a family, activities at 2 different schools, writing and publishing -- life is filled to overflowing. I'd love to say I stay on top of everything, know exactly when each child needs to arrive at their special events, remember which day I have guest posts, and when edits are due, but I can't. Other people find me to be very organized, but they simply can't see the little man behind the curtain. :)
The main way I keep up with the bazillion things that happen every week of our lives is my trusty Day Planner. Some years its a more expensive, involved planner; sometimes I go for the basic model. This year it was the latter. I looked several places but found a basic model at the Big Lots store for cheap and snatched it up. Now I don't like small spaces on the page, because my writing is quiet large, but in this case I convinced myself it worked. You see, I'm going to have less time than I used too. Less space = fewer notes. I say its a sign, because I truly won't have enough time nor energy to have a jam-packed day when I come home.
I also keep a list that I call the Mind-Boggling To Do List. This list never ends (as work never ends for parents, I'm sure you'll agree). I simply check off when something is done, and add when something else comes to mind. Now, this might appear to add stress, but actually it relieves it. By getting things that I need to remember on the page, I have confidence that I won't forget them now or in the future. I simply have to look at the list. I can actually "forget" it. :)
So I'm hanging on this week with my Day Planner and Mind-Boggling To Do List. What tools do you use to keep your chaos under control?
Those who pursue creative interests are more than aware of the role motivation plays in the process. We love it when our brains and bodies want to throw themselves full force into the work-in-progress. It means inspiration and all-out forward progress.
But what about those times when motivation disappears? For writers, this can mean silence when you seriously need to rack up words on the page. A few of the tactics I turn to are:
1. Music ~ Each of my characters have a theme song, and I can often connect with them by playing it over and over on repeat.
2. A walk ~ Okay, I'll admit this is usually my last choice, but it works really well. Fresh air rejuvenates and clears the head, leaving room for creativity to enter.
3. Brain Drain ~ Sitting down with blank pages and just getting everything on my mind onto those pages helps me move past the clutter. Once I have it written down, I can ignore it for a while and move on to the important stuff.
But I've found there are dozens of ways to help writers move past their lack of motivation, and they've been compiled in the post Is Your Motivation to Write Lagging? by Penny Rader. I hope you find it as inspiring as I do!
http://warawriters.blogspot.com/2012/10/is-your-motivation-to-write-lagging.html
3. Brain Drain ~ Sitting down with blank pages and just getting everything on my mind onto those pages helps me move past the clutter. Once I have it written down, I can ignore it for a while and move on to the important stuff.
But I've found there are dozens of ways to help writers move past their lack of motivation, and they've been compiled in the post Is Your Motivation to Write Lagging? by Penny Rader. I hope you find it as inspiring as I do!
http://warawriters.blogspot.com/2012/10/is-your-motivation-to-write-lagging.html
Hmmm… blogging on my own has been quite a scary venture. I know you're probably thinking doing something alone is a strange fear for someone my age, but the truth is, I've rarely been on my own in life. As a twin, I grew up with my sister by my side – never having to go into a social situation or new class on my own. We went to the same school, even had the same major in college. Then I married hubby and had someone else to go places with me or at least talk to about it when I came home. The kids were with me for school events and church. The Playfriends have been with me through a long list of personal and professional events, including national conferences, submissions, rejections, and my first sale.
I've only taken a few steps in my life all by my lonesome. Two of them have made dramatic changes in my personal and professional lives. The first was when I decided to write my very first story. I vividly remember the sick feeling of excitement in my stomach as I told my husband what I wanted to do. Imagine my surprise when he simply replied, "Okay," as if this were a normal, perfectly natural revelation. Others weren't as supportive, but my family has remained an incredible cheer squad throughout my journey.
More recently, I took another step alone. At least, the first step, the decision part. Along the way I've had some wonderful people join me, teach me, and assist me. It's become one of the most enjoyable steps I've taken in a long time.
I decided to self-publish some of my work.
I chose a novella that has a wonderful origin. A few years ago, when I was struggling mightily with rejection and writers block, I sought the counsel of one of my mentors and beloved friend, Maven Linda Winstead Jones. Her suggestion? Write something you love and enjoy, focusing simply on bringing those characters to life. Taking her advice, I wrote Snow Bound. I love this story about a burnt out military hero and the good girl of Cadence, TN, fending off a convict bent on revenge while snowed into her isolated farmhouse. So I've decided to bring it to readers in my own way and my own time.
My incredible (and incredibly patient) cover artist Scott Carpenter created the cover for me:
[caption id="attachment_175" align="aligncenter" width="200"]
My Very First Cover![/caption]
I love it! My awesome sister, Ella Sheridan, is helping out by lending me her professional editing skills so this baby goes into the world in tip top shape. I’m very excited.
My debut release will hit the electronic shelves this November. I'm putting together a blog tour and will be sharing milestones along this journey with my friends and readers here on my blog and at the Writing Playground.
This decision has been nerve-wracking, exciting, fun, and scary, but it’s the most rewarding thing I've done in a long time. While I’m just as excited about my print debut with Harlequin Desire in August 2013, I look forward to releasing more of my work myself, because it is a very rewarding creative process that feeds the writer within.
Often, it is those steps we make alone that define us, that reward us, whether through courage gained, new experiences, positive feedback, or strength built. I look forward to sharing more of this journey with you.
What solitary step have you taken that's turned into one of the most rewarding adventures of your life?
Dani
My Very First Cover![/caption]
I love it! My awesome sister, Ella Sheridan, is helping out by lending me her professional editing skills so this baby goes into the world in tip top shape. I’m very excited.
My debut release will hit the electronic shelves this November. I'm putting together a blog tour and will be sharing milestones along this journey with my friends and readers here on my blog and at the Writing Playground.
This decision has been nerve-wracking, exciting, fun, and scary, but it’s the most rewarding thing I've done in a long time. While I’m just as excited about my print debut with Harlequin Desire in August 2013, I look forward to releasing more of my work myself, because it is a very rewarding creative process that feeds the writer within.
Often, it is those steps we make alone that define us, that reward us, whether through courage gained, new experiences, positive feedback, or strength built. I look forward to sharing more of this journey with you.
What solitary step have you taken that's turned into one of the most rewarding adventures of your life?
Dani
Life gets crazy bad sometimes and the past 2 weeks were definitely there for us. In the midst of finishing my edits, I lost my day job unexpectedly. This meant a week of prepping my resume, getting medications and doctors' appointments for everyone before we lost our insurance, etc. Lots of fear, frustration, and family support.
In the midst of the chaos, I remembered something...
Stress of any kind affects the creative process. For some, they hunker down and use the work to block out what's happening around them. I'm not one of these lucky artists.
Most often, stress blocks my creativity. Tuning into my characters and focusing on the story becomes very difficult for me. Through previous experience with writer's block, I know there are times I can push it and times I can't.
This week, I knew the distraction was just the emotional chaos around and inside of me, not the writing itself, so I was able to push forward. Not easily, but I could. I had someone double check my work, because I didn't trust that some of my distraction wasn't leaking onto the page, but I got the work done. Now I'm down to just a final readthru before turning in a round of edits to my editor at Harlequin Desire. And I gained the satisfaction of knowing I could go on and complete that work despite the panic and upset of the last 2 weeks.
I'd like to share a couple of things I've learned, so if you find yourself in similar chaos, this might work for you:
1. Return to the Page
When true lack of focus hits hard, it can be difficult to even show up at the page, much less write anything. But I've found that the best solution IS to show up, write for however long you can, and accept that the time on the page may be short. I literally spent 5 hours in bed with my computer the day after I was fired. Did I get a lot accomplished? No. Maybe 10 pages of easy edits. I would read for a little while, then realize that I'd drifted away for 30 minutes, staring into nothing or watching television without really seeing it. But instead of punishing myself, I just brought my focus back to the page for however long I could. This routine was repeated on and off throughout the day. I didn't accomplish an astonishing amount, but I had the satisfaction of having done something without psychologically whipping myself over things I really couldn't control.
The next day was better, and the next. I'll never work at top speed when my life is stressful, but that's okay. I can still write.
2. Cut Yourself Some Slack
Hi, I'm Dani Wade, and I have anger management issues>>I constantly beat myself up.
This is something I'm also working on, but progress can be slow at times. I'm highly self-critical, and expect close to perfection in many areas of my life (yes, I do realize this is unrealistic, and I'm working on that). One major area of progress is in cutting myself some slack -- when I know its just one of those days when pushing through isn't going to help, I give in, back off, and rest. I know when I can push, but when I can't, I don't make it worse by continuing to pile on the pressure. Take a day off, or at least a couple of hours, and give the brain a rest. Taking care of my brain through rest, exercise, (mostly) nutritious eating means it will reward me by letting me reconnect with my story.
I'll continue to repeat this process until the distractions pass, looking forward to the day when the connection is completely open.
So how do you get through the tough writing times?
Dani
This week I read a blog that served as a huge wake-up call for me as a writer. There are so many things that become a distraction to the joy of writing once you decide to pursue publication -- critiques, pressure, questions, rejections, other people's opinions, deadlines. It can get really hard to retain that connection with the process of creating, especially when combined with internal worries and self-doubt.
[caption id="attachment_154" align="aligncenter" width="214"]
Why do YOU write?[/caption]
Cynthia's very simple solution is a great reminder to writers to "check in" when the joy gets lost in the seas of chaos.
Check it out!
http://www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com/why-do-you-write/
Dani
Why do YOU write?[/caption]
Cynthia's very simple solution is a great reminder to writers to "check in" when the joy gets lost in the seas of chaos.
Check it out!
http://www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com/why-do-you-write/
Dani
In keeping with this month’s inadvertent theme (how’d that happen?), my sister and I went on a mini-writers’ retreat to have some space and quiet to focus with our writing. For me, to reconnect with my creativity in general.
Things have been crazy lately (translation: chaos) and I don’t know about normal people, but for me that usually translates into SLOW writing—like pouring molasses slow. We both needed to get away, and a state park within reasonable driving distance was a quiet and economical solution.
[caption id="attachment_164" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Our Cabin[/caption]
The nature, quiet, and lack of pressure worked wonders! I used to feel very selfish taking time away like that (ok, so I still do sometimes), but I’ve learned that I just work better with quiet and solitude. Of course, that doesn’t actually mean no people at all—I often write in restaurants and coffee shops—but the general public isn’t stopping me every 15 minutes to ask for a snack or can they play on the Xbox.
[caption id="attachment_163" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
L-Dani Wade, R-Ella Sheridan[/caption]
But I digress. Even though I can work with munchkin interruptions, it often stalls momentum. On our retreat, I could chug a little faster with each writing session. We also went on a walk on the trail near our cabin while we brainstormed on Saturday morning (great ideas!). The drive was good for that too.
I came home refreshed and energized about my stories, ready to tackle revisions on my contracted book. Retreats can be used for all kinds of things—scrapbooking, quilting, crafting, sleeping. My local RWA chapter goes on an annual retreat that involves lots of plotting, talking, singing, booze, but not as much actual writing as you’d think. But its still rejuvenating, emotionally and creatively.
[caption id="attachment_165" align="aligncenter" width="225"]
Nearby Waterfall[/caption]
So go forth and rejuvenate! Seriously, if you could retreat anywhere, where would it be?
Dani
Our Cabin[/caption]
The nature, quiet, and lack of pressure worked wonders! I used to feel very selfish taking time away like that (ok, so I still do sometimes), but I’ve learned that I just work better with quiet and solitude. Of course, that doesn’t actually mean no people at all—I often write in restaurants and coffee shops—but the general public isn’t stopping me every 15 minutes to ask for a snack or can they play on the Xbox.
[caption id="attachment_163" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
L-Dani Wade, R-Ella Sheridan[/caption]
But I digress. Even though I can work with munchkin interruptions, it often stalls momentum. On our retreat, I could chug a little faster with each writing session. We also went on a walk on the trail near our cabin while we brainstormed on Saturday morning (great ideas!). The drive was good for that too.
I came home refreshed and energized about my stories, ready to tackle revisions on my contracted book. Retreats can be used for all kinds of things—scrapbooking, quilting, crafting, sleeping. My local RWA chapter goes on an annual retreat that involves lots of plotting, talking, singing, booze, but not as much actual writing as you’d think. But its still rejuvenating, emotionally and creatively.
[caption id="attachment_165" align="aligncenter" width="225"]
Nearby Waterfall[/caption]
So go forth and rejuvenate! Seriously, if you could retreat anywhere, where would it be?
Dani
*What Would Dani Do?
I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do when the kids go back to school next week. You see, I'm a scheduler (just like I'm a plotter when I write). I like schedules and routines. From the time the kids were born we've had routines in our house; I think kids thrive on them, as long as they aren't “break your knuckles” strict. And I have just enough "absent minded professor" in me to go off the routine every couple of days or get distracted by something out of the ordinary like a school event. But having some kind of schedule or routine gives me a goal, at least.
So I'm looking at our afternoons (once everyone gets home from school and I’m home from work) to brainstorm how I can be the most productive while overseeing homework and music practice and dinner, etc. There are things I need to get out of the way when I first get home, but I don't need to put writing off until last thing in the evening because by then my brain is fried. It is way too easy to procrastinate when I'm tired.
Some possibilities I've come up with:
1. Take laptop to the table and do social networking and email return while overseeing Little Man's homework (Book Worm is mostly self-sufficient now, except for some math issues, so as long as I point her in the right direction and check when she's done, she’s good).
2. Start prep for dinner as soon as we walk in the door, i.e. knowing what we'll have, setting out supplies, and knowing when I need to start thawing meat, etc.
3. Take some time in the early evening (possibly before dinner prep) to pre-write. I usually do this before I do my actual writing by sketching out (long hand) the scene I'll be working on, characters, setting, motivations, etc. It lets me get it clear in my mind and starts the creative juices flowing. Maybe if I do this early in the evening, I'll be ready when I do sit down to write.
4. Have a few minutes of snack time when we first come in the door, sitting at the table together and talking about our days before we move into the rush of homework.
5. Keep watch for those spare minutes when the kids are occupied with something else to get words on the page. Luckily, after being cooped up in school all day, my kids love to spend some time outside, especially as fall sets in. I need to be prepared to jump on those times to get writing done, even if it’s only a page at a time.
Do y'all have any suggestions for making those busy evenings go more smoothly, while still being productive?
I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to do when the kids go back to school next week. You see, I'm a scheduler (just like I'm a plotter when I write). I like schedules and routines. From the time the kids were born we've had routines in our house; I think kids thrive on them, as long as they aren't “break your knuckles” strict. And I have just enough "absent minded professor" in me to go off the routine every couple of days or get distracted by something out of the ordinary like a school event. But having some kind of schedule or routine gives me a goal, at least.
So I'm looking at our afternoons (once everyone gets home from school and I’m home from work) to brainstorm how I can be the most productive while overseeing homework and music practice and dinner, etc. There are things I need to get out of the way when I first get home, but I don't need to put writing off until last thing in the evening because by then my brain is fried. It is way too easy to procrastinate when I'm tired.
Some possibilities I've come up with:
1. Take laptop to the table and do social networking and email return while overseeing Little Man's homework (Book Worm is mostly self-sufficient now, except for some math issues, so as long as I point her in the right direction and check when she's done, she’s good).
2. Start prep for dinner as soon as we walk in the door, i.e. knowing what we'll have, setting out supplies, and knowing when I need to start thawing meat, etc.
3. Take some time in the early evening (possibly before dinner prep) to pre-write. I usually do this before I do my actual writing by sketching out (long hand) the scene I'll be working on, characters, setting, motivations, etc. It lets me get it clear in my mind and starts the creative juices flowing. Maybe if I do this early in the evening, I'll be ready when I do sit down to write.
4. Have a few minutes of snack time when we first come in the door, sitting at the table together and talking about our days before we move into the rush of homework.
5. Keep watch for those spare minutes when the kids are occupied with something else to get words on the page. Luckily, after being cooped up in school all day, my kids love to spend some time outside, especially as fall sets in. I need to be prepared to jump on those times to get writing done, even if it’s only a page at a time.
Do y'all have any suggestions for making those busy evenings go more smoothly, while still being productive?