Wading Through Life...
As the song says, life can be hard sometimes. Doing things is hard sometimes. Believe it or not, even words are hard sometimes. Many of us start out the new year wanting (sometimes desperately) to make changes in our lives. Myself included! But change is hard. This past November, I found a key that helped me accomplish a goal. It still wasn’t easy, but it was easier. I went from not writing at all to getting in several writing sprints per day. The key? Accountability. I asked a few fellow authors who were participating in the same monthly challenge as me if they wanted to start a small accountability group. Just post your goals and chick in daily. That’s all. We would hold each other accountable to work towards our goals, offer encouragement, celebrate our wins, and help find solutions to struggles.
Guess what? It worked! And so did I!!
After all, I’d be horribly embarrassed if I failed completely. That got me through the first few days. Then I was encouraged by the response and progress of my fellow authors. The writing got easier (most days), and I found myself looking forward to posting my progress each day.
I mean, I wasn’t perfect. I didn’t write every single day, because…life. Right? But in just 30 days, I got a hell of a lot more done than in the previous 6 months.
December came. The challenge ended. I stopped posting and—bam! No more words.
Suddenly all the other stuff on my plate became more important, more urgent, more—well—noticeable if it wasn’t done. More noticeable than the writing.
But I have a book I want to finish. Editing to accomplish. I have a series I want to publish this year.
I could struggle alone, or ask for some accountability!
So a small group of authors are joining me this year to Get Some Shit Done!
I believe this is part of creating good goals that can actually come to fruition. Most people have this idea that they have to do it all themselves. I don’t know why we feel this way. All work is easier if you have a helping hand.
Look at the obstacles and put a system in place that will help you take the steps. It will be so much easier! Whether its an exercise partner, or an in-person class to learn the thing you’ve been trying alone for the longest time, or a weekly meeting to give your family a time and place to decide on meals for the week.
What are your goals for this year? Do you have a plan to accomplish them?
I'd love to hear from you!
Dani
It Caught My Eye...
I've had stairs on my mind lately. A stairwell plays a prominent place in my current work-in-progress (WIP) as the location of a very tragic event, an event that the heroine is reminded of every time she has to pass or use this staircase in the house. It makes the home a very emotional place for her. What should be a beautiful centerpiece as you enter a home is transformed into a reminder of grief and tragedy.
If you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I’m a Planner Girl! I have a 3-drawer set of planner supplies and put together weekly spreads pretty regularly. It helps me stay on track and, frankly, clears out the cobwebs.
Many years ago, I learned to do what I call a brain dump. If I pour everything out onto a To Do list (appointments, chores, projects, etc), then I no longer have to use a lot of brain power to keep track of those things. I’ve fine-tuned this to a monthly and weekly calendar setup so my To Dos don’t outdistance my time (mostly…).
And now I’ve become addicted to planning every week, usually on Sunday afternoons. Which means…an excuse to use stickers! 😊 Just kidding. Not!
For my fellow planner girls or those who want to get started, here’s a list of some of my favorite tools, along with some of my daughter’s also (because I managed to pass this one gene along!).
BENEATH THE SURFACE, Small Town Secrets Book 1
Welcome to Cadence, TN–where secrets can be deadly.
Too many secrets…
Hidden in a quiet town along the Tennessee border, a secret society exists where the privileged fulfill their darkest desires. One of their members initiates a desperate act designed to bring home his lifelong obsession: Emma Hartwell.
A past not forgotten…
Drawn back to her hometown by the psychic connection with her twin, Emma must fight the stubborn silence of those around her in her quest to find her missing sister. Colin McIntyre hopes to make up for his past mistakes with Emma by helping her, but his own ties to the Gathering might be exposed along the way.
Time is running out…
Exposure could be dangerous for his family, along with himself and Emma. Can they fight the secrets and lies to rescue Emma’s sister… and their own chance at life-long love?
Other books in the Small Town Secrets series (can be read in any order):
BEHIND THE SCARS
SNOW BOUND
Amazon
B&N
Apple Books
Kobo
For my fellow planner girls or those who want to get started, here’s a list of some of my favorite tools, along with some of my daughter’s also (because I managed to pass this one gene along!).
- Passion Planner is the actual planner I use (monthly and weekly spreads-I prefer undated-with monthly and yearly reflection questions), but there are a lot of different ones out there. Passion Planner also posts content on Instagram and YouTube. I enjoy watching their ideas for different ways to use their planners.
- Archer & Olive is really good for those who like to do bullet journals. This is my daughter’s preferred option (and you can see some of her spreads on her blog here-alittlebithappierblog.com). These journals have high quality bindings and paper that doesn’t bleed, which can be a big deal when you are creating your own spreads.
- The HB90 planner by Sarah Cannon is available on Etsy and is wonderful for all the authors out there! I bought the download and use some of the ideas to incorporate into my own planner. I also print word count charts and some decision-making tools she has to help me keep my planner useful for author needs. She has an awesome HB90 class and you can also watch planner videos on her Heart Breathings YouTube channel.
- My sister, author Ella Sheridan, and I are working through the Heal the Way You Work class (based on the Do Less book by Kate Northrup). This teaches you how to plan your schedule based on your energies of that day/week/month. A very different approach, but I’m finding it very interesting. Fingers crossed I can figure this out, but her checklists of questions for creating annual/quarterly/weekly schedules is super helpful for clarifying goals and focuses.
- Stickers!!! I love and use a lot of Happy Planner sticker books. I especially like all the quotes and encouraging sayings in them. I was gifted some gothic ones for Christmas from HoundsflyteDesigns on Etsy that I’m loving! My daughter and I immediately went to her store and bought more of them.
- Pens, pens, and more pens… I have a lot of these but not as many as some planners. I’m very picky about mine… My favorite black pens are uni-ball signo, whether I’m writing or planning. I also have a set of Pentel EnerGel colored pens that work well. My daughter likes Muji gel pens in 0.58 and Tombow duel brush pens.
- But planning is always a good excuse for a STAPLES TRIP! I collect all kinds of Post It notes, page tabs, and washi tape. Writers love all kinds of office supplies, but I mean, who wouldn’t?!?!
Experience Cadence, TN, with BENEATH THE SURFACE
BENEATH THE SURFACE, Small Town Secrets Book 1
Welcome to Cadence, TN–where secrets can be deadly.
Too many secrets…
Hidden in a quiet town along the Tennessee border, a secret society exists where the privileged fulfill their darkest desires. One of their members initiates a desperate act designed to bring home his lifelong obsession: Emma Hartwell.
A past not forgotten…
Drawn back to her hometown by the psychic connection with her twin, Emma must fight the stubborn silence of those around her in her quest to find her missing sister. Colin McIntyre hopes to make up for his past mistakes with Emma by helping her, but his own ties to the Gathering might be exposed along the way.
Time is running out…
Exposure could be dangerous for his family, along with himself and Emma. Can they fight the secrets and lies to rescue Emma’s sister… and their own chance at life-long love?
Other books in the Small Town Secrets series (can be read in any order):
BEHIND THE SCARS
SNOW BOUND
Amazon
B&N
Apple Books
Kobo
I am addicted to productivity.
There. I admitted it. I’m either making a list of things I need to accomplish. Actually doing things I need to accomplish. Checking off things I’ve accomplished…or feeling guilty over not doing the very things I should accomplish. 😊
My therapist told me I needed to work on letting go of all this. Anyone else there with me?
So when I planned my writing retreat for this month, I though it would be just like all the other writing retreats I’ve been on. The goal has always been to get as many words as humanly possible during the period of time while I’m gone. After all, how else can I justify spending that time away from my family and using my precious PTO from the day job?
But that’s not how it actually worked out this time. I did get writing done…but this time I actually spent time doing, well, nothing. And I’m not a nothing kind of girl!!! But my brain simply wouldn’t focus on the story. Or at least, not the writing of it. I did some planning. I did some plotting. But none of it was measured by productivity.
And that was a little weird, to be honest. Usually my brain is going 90 to nothing. So I found this disconcerting but possibly a step in the right direction. A chance to let my brain work out whatever it needed to. And it helped me come home with a better perspective on some things. A determination to enjoy the small things (which isn’t easy for me, but I’m trying). I guess all of that quiet, thinking time just reinforced some of the things I’ve been trying to come to grips with over the last few months.
I’ve been pretty open about my struggles with mental health this year, hoping that others will realize they aren’t alone and we can all help each other. How do you help quiet your mind? What’s your favorite fun thing that gets your brain off the hamster wheel?
Take care,
Dani
Don't forget to check out my Secrets of Covington Corner series! HAUNTED HERITAGE is out this month!
Amazon
B&N
Kobo
Apple books
Goodreads--Add To Your TBR List!
But that’s not how it actually worked out this time. I did get writing done…but this time I actually spent time doing, well, nothing. And I’m not a nothing kind of girl!!! But my brain simply wouldn’t focus on the story. Or at least, not the writing of it. I did some planning. I did some plotting. But none of it was measured by productivity.
And that was a little weird, to be honest. Usually my brain is going 90 to nothing. So I found this disconcerting but possibly a step in the right direction. A chance to let my brain work out whatever it needed to. And it helped me come home with a better perspective on some things. A determination to enjoy the small things (which isn’t easy for me, but I’m trying). I guess all of that quiet, thinking time just reinforced some of the things I’ve been trying to come to grips with over the last few months.
I’ve been pretty open about my struggles with mental health this year, hoping that others will realize they aren’t alone and we can all help each other. How do you help quiet your mind? What’s your favorite fun thing that gets your brain off the hamster wheel?
Take care,
Dani
Don't forget to check out my Secrets of Covington Corner series! HAUNTED HERITAGE is out this month!
Amazon
B&N
Kobo
Apple books
Goodreads--Add To Your TBR List!
I have a confession to make: I’m not a reader.
Let me clarify: I used to be a reader. But between the day job, struggling to get words, and overwhelming stress, I lost my love of it somewhere. Every time I thought about picking up a book, I just turned away.
Then I took a class called Write Better Faster by Becca Syme in an attempt to break through my writer’s block. There I learned about my top 5 Strengths (Clifton Strengths testing). Lo and behold—all of them had to do with INPUT. Basically, my brain runs off of learning things. I have a craving for knowledge and am rejuvenated by the learning process.
Except I’d stopped that process in its tracks by not reading much at all. The occasional non-fiction book or magazine was the only exception. No wonder my brain has basically stopped working!
After taking Becca’s class, I started making an effort to read more, but it was haphazard. I would start fiction books, but not be able to finish them, no matter how interesting they were. I had better luck with non-fiction, which I could let sit for a few days, then come back to them and eventually finish. I’m not entirely sure why this was so hard, but I have a few suspicions.
I’ve started my non-fiction goal with Paused to Prolific by K Webster. This is a new release that dovetails nicely with my own focus issues. It is designed to help you “write faster, stay focused, and avoid burnout”. I found it very easy to digest because the chapters are short and tightly focused, with a “coffee break” at the end to help brainstorm ideas for taking the information and putting it into practice. Webster has a conversational, humorous style that helped me relate well to the information, and I’ll never look at a squirrel the same again!
What kind of reading goals do you set for yourself? Are they formal goals, or just lists of books you’d like to read?
Dani
Then I took a class called Write Better Faster by Becca Syme in an attempt to break through my writer’s block. There I learned about my top 5 Strengths (Clifton Strengths testing). Lo and behold—all of them had to do with INPUT. Basically, my brain runs off of learning things. I have a craving for knowledge and am rejuvenated by the learning process.
Except I’d stopped that process in its tracks by not reading much at all. The occasional non-fiction book or magazine was the only exception. No wonder my brain has basically stopped working!
After taking Becca’s class, I started making an effort to read more, but it was haphazard. I would start fiction books, but not be able to finish them, no matter how interesting they were. I had better luck with non-fiction, which I could let sit for a few days, then come back to them and eventually finish. I’m not entirely sure why this was so hard, but I have a few suspicions.
- The issues going on in my brain related to the writer’s block made it extremely difficult to focus. What little “focus power” I had went to my day job and writing tasks, so there wasn’t much left for something I viewed as less important: the reading (boy, did I have that backwards).
- There is an idea I’ve been dedicated to for years: refilling the well. But until this very stressful time, I didn’t put it into practice with as much dedication as I should have. Then again, I didn’t know that part of what I needed to fill that well was knowledge! We often think of refilling our wells, or “self-care”, as things like taking baths and having our nails done. But our strengths give us certain needs that, when fulfilled, renew our energy and our enthusiasm far faster than anything else could. I’ve experienced this first hand!
I’ve started my non-fiction goal with Paused to Prolific by K Webster. This is a new release that dovetails nicely with my own focus issues. It is designed to help you “write faster, stay focused, and avoid burnout”. I found it very easy to digest because the chapters are short and tightly focused, with a “coffee break” at the end to help brainstorm ideas for taking the information and putting it into practice. Webster has a conversational, humorous style that helped me relate well to the information, and I’ll never look at a squirrel the same again!
What kind of reading goals do you set for yourself? Are they formal goals, or just lists of books you’d like to read?
Dani