There are some days when just looking at my To Do list can give me a panic attack. The list grows and grows, no matter now much I mark off of it. Until sometimes I can feel like I'm drowning in stuff that needs to be done.
Admitting that honestly showed me that there are many reasons as parents, spouses, writers, employees, etc, that we might feel the need to cut back on our responsibilities and commitments. For myself, I had to cut back when I had new babies, when I took on a job outside the home, and now that my oldest child has extra curricular activities that require being driven. But most recently I upped my day job to full-time and my downtime to non-existent because I've taken on too many commitments and find myself completely overwhelmed. I bet no one does that but me, huh?
1. Evaluate priorities.
I have this unbearable urge to throw up my hands and chuck it all -- but it doesn't stick with me for long. I'm too much of a planner (nice word for obsessive) for that. Way before any cutting or confirmation happens, take a step back and a good look at your goals and direction. For me, this means taking care of my family financially and emotionally. Then furthering my writing craft and publishing career, and preserving the joy of my creativity. Taking care of myself physically and emotionally, so I can do everything else on this list. Did I mention I need to breathe sometimes? Finally, taking care of my extended family and very close friends in a way that protects those relationships and allows me to show these people my love for them.
2. Line up commitments.
Then I put my compulsive list-making to good use! I make a long, long list of everything I've got going on (and it seems to grow every day -- how does THAT happen?). I like paper, some of my friends use computer programs. For those of you who aren't list-obsessive like me, maybe a mental checklist would work? Then compare those things to the priorities list. And yes, I'll admit to trying to spread my list-making disease. :)
3. The Dreaded Cut
This is the part I hate. Some things are so easy to give up, and others I really struggle with, but I always seem to feel better once the decision is made. As I mentioned earlier, between the job, writing, and growing children, I've had to make more and more cuts. I no longer have much time during the week to see friends, but I try to make time once a month to do that on a weekend. I try to do as many of my daughter's band activities as possible, but told her not to plan on going to any out of town competitions because of time/money. I’ve given up all of my local writing chapter volunteer duties and only volunteer for 1 event per year for each of the kids. I make it count – often heading up a function – but that’s the only thing I do.
But its not just about cutting, its about deciding what is important enough to keep. Is there a particular project that means a great deal to you? And by that, I mean almost as important as your family. Will this volunteer opportunity serve you or your career in some way? Why do you want to put it on the keep list? Do you have a full understanding of everything that it will entail?
4. Evaluate any new opportunities that come along
Yeah, I can Epic Fail at this one really easy, so I have to be really careful and uber aware.
Recently I had chance to work on a large organization committee. I'd just offloaded all of my local chapter responsibilities, and wasn't sure about adding anything back on. But after evaluating the Pros and Cons, the benefits outweighed the amount of time it would require of me -- so I took it. The point here is that I thought about it first. I didn't jump first and regret later.
Do you ever go back and reevaluate the chaos that is your life? How do you decide what to keep and when something's gotta go?
The holidays are fully upon us, and we all know that December can be a crazy time for families! Parents have work party commitments, friends they’d like to see, and extended family get-togethers. Kids have school parties, extracurricular activities, and church programs. Volunteer efforts abound. And all around us is the pressure to create the “Perfect Holiday”.
While the most renewing part of this season is the time spent with family and those we love, by the time we show up we’re exhausted from cooking, buying, wrapping, etc. So I’ve compiled some wonderful tips and tricks for how to Simplify the Holidays from myself and some of my fellow romance authors! I hope one of these little nuggets of wisdom from women who struggle with the same balance of time and obligations that we all have will make your holiday season just a little bit easier!
Share your own tip in the comments for a chance to win an Amazon or B&N gift card as a little reward for all your hard work!*
SHOPPING & PRESENTS:
From Laurie Kellogg, author of the sexy, sassy holiday story No Exchanges, No Returns
I believe families bond over shared experiences, not exchanging THINGS. This gift can be a little pricier, but it's worth the extra cost. To simplify holiday shopping, find an event or activity (play, circus, ice show, concert / bowling, skiing, rollerskating, movie, etc) that the entire family will enjoy and give everyone a ticket to attend as a group. If you can afford to be really extravagant plan a shared vacation. I like to attach each ticket or invitation to a favorite snack or treat to personalize the gift. (It's only one trip to the grocery story, but you have to KNOW what each family member's guilty pleasure is). If you use tissue paper and small gift bags, your shopping is done for the entire family in less than two hours.
From Betty Bolte, author of the combination YA historical fiction and biography Hometown Heroines (True Stories of Bravery, Daring, and Adventure)
Years ago, after one memorable year trying to stuff all the presents into the trunk of the car so we could make the trip home from grandparents’ house, we started including family activities in lieu of so many “things” under the tree. So we go to see the Galaxy of Lights then go to a nice restaurant for dinner. We also try to go to a Christmas concert – at the university or a professional production – this year we’re seeing the Celtic Woman Christmas performance. This way we’re creating memories rather than filling up the house with objects, which means less time spent shopping and wrapping and more time together as a family.
From Vivi Andrews, author of the paranormal romance Finder’s Keeper
If you have a big family (like mine), consider a Secret Santa or White Elephant Gift Exchange to avoid breaking the bank while still having fun and celebrating the season. And if your family is spread out all across the world (also like mine) and shipping costs are getting out of control, you might want to try what we do - ask for volunteers to be "designated shopper" in each city (continent, whatever works for you). That shopper buys and wraps the presents locally (with consultation and reimbursement from the gift giver). The giver saves on time and shipping, while the shopper gets the fun of a gift shopping binge with someone else footing the bill. ;) We started this when my grandparents began having trouble handling the malls during the season and it has snowballed to be a family-wide phenomenon.
From author Marilyn Puett
I shop all year long and keep track of it with a list. I made a Word document with a table with three columns: Name, Gift, Bought. I list all the folks for whom I need to buy a gift and print off the document. I may pencil in gift ideas for some folks. Then during the year when I see things on sale or see the perfect item in a mail-order catalog or online, I get it, mark what it is in the Gift column, put a check mark in the Bought column and put the item on a special shelf in the closet. This year the bulk of my shopping was done by the end of October. I actually bought two gifts in November of LAST year. I saw them in a catalog, thought they would be perfect for my brother-in-law and nephew and went ahead and bought them because I was afraid they wouldn’t be available this year (they are, but they’re more expensive – WIN!). Once all the shopping is done, I type all the info into the list and save it on my hard drive. I have
lists going back quite a few years. This way Uncle So-and-So doesn’t get flannel lounge pants three years in a row. And I’m spared the stress of shopping at the last minute in all the crowds. I have to mail gifts to a lot of my family so the early shopping means I can also beat the long lines at the post office.
When I moved in October, 2009, a friend helped me pack. She saw a box in my closet marked “Playfriends’ Christmas Gifts” and said, “Really?” All I could do was nod and smile. I didn’t tell her they’d been in that box for several months. Now she’ll know. <G>
From author Jannette Spann
We have tall men in our family, 6 ft. 1 to 6 ft 7. I carry a card with their sizes in my purse year round, along with a tape measure. I don't dare depend on manufacturers tags to get the sizes right. I measure for myself. It saves time on returns.
FOOD:
From Tamara Hogan, author of the paranormal romance Chase Me
My tip has to do with COOKIES. A good friend and I get together for a full day in early December and bake holiday cookies together. We choose three recipes each, and at the end of a day spent cooking, gossiping and generally catching up, we have six kinds of cookies to to divide between us. With a beautiful collection of cookies already made, it's a simple matter to arrange a pretty plate for the neighbors, or to bring to an impromptu holiday gathering.
This sounds great, Tamara! My sister and I have done this a couple of times, not just with cookies but with pumpkin bread, chocolate covered pretzels, etc. Then we can split them into holiday containers to give out. Much more fun than cooking all day alone!
From Andrea Laurence, author of the paranormal romance Sexy as Hell
When Christmas comes around, a lot of people like to bake cookies and make candy. Unfortunately, the time is tighter that month than in any other and pre-made dough can be pretty pricy (and not that tasty, if you ask me). Save yourself time and money by making your own cookie dough ahead of time. You can probably start as early as October if you need to. It usually only takes about fifteen minutes to make a batch of cookie dough, so when you get a chance to make it, get out a cookie sheet and scoop balls of dough onto it. Stick it in the freezer for a couple hours. Once they’re frozen, you can put the dough balls in a large ziplock bag. The dough won’t stick together because it was pre-frozen. Put it back in the freezer until you’re ready to bake. Make another batch of cookie dough whenever you can and do the same. When you have the time or the need to bake, just pull out the bag and pop as many as you need into the oven. It may only require an additional minute or so of bake time from frozen. Watch your first batch’s progress and adjust accordingly.
Great idea, Andrea! This could also be done now on a weeknight, then frozen and baked later for a weekend party.
From Dani Wade, author of the contemporary romantic suspense Snow Bound
This is a combined food + present idea, but when I make up lots of food gifts, I like to use some of them for Teachers Gifts. Instead of waiting until the last day of school, I go ahead and send them with my children the next day. That way, I know teachers’ gifts are taken care of, the food is still fresh, and its one less thing my teachers have to carry home on the last day of school.
Consider making your family get-together less about meal preparation, and more about spending time together. Serve delivered pizza or have everyone bring a simple finger food, then enjoy an evening of games and conversation rather than clean-up.
One family I know makes their Christmas Eve get-together “Soup Night”. Each family brings a different soup, including several different chilis, potato soup, and beef stew. The great thing is, these can all be made in advance and frozen until the day before, then heated in crockpots. The hostess provides the “extras”, like cheese, crackers, croutons, etc. Very quick and easy!
DECORATING
From author Ella Sheridan
The past few Christmases, as my kids moved into their teenage years, have become increasingly busy. My family has simplified Christmas by going designer. What do I mean? Instead of hauling out the three tubs of family Christmas ornaments and home decor, we keep it simple and elegant: a real evergreen swag over the hearth, dotted with white candles, a real evergreen tree, decorated with 7-8 clumps of poinsettia, twigs, and feathers I save from year to year, and our nativity on the entertainment center. We can sit in the living area and enjoy Christmas without the hassle of having to work for hours to put it together or put everything away, and it looks like we spent a fortune when all we have to buy are the evergreens!
From Dani Wade
I recently received a tip from a friend when I was complaining about the hassle of decorating outside. She told me to simplify my decorations by choosing items that were easy to put out/take down and gave a lot of bang for their buck. No more ladders or hard-to-reach work. For instance, net lights for my bushes – lots of lights and all I have to do is throw them over the bush and plug in. A wreath on the door. Maybe a couple of lighted trees set on each side of the door. Voila! Done!
GET-TOGETHERS WITH FRIENDS
From Dani Wade
I don’t know about you, but I have lots of friends that I love to see over the holidays. But we all have very busy weekends that are already packed full. TWO possible solutions: 1) Get a big group of you all together on a weeknight at a restaurant. Then there’s no cooking/clean-up and fewer conflicts. 2) Put off the get-together until January, when schedules start to unwind. Christmas doesn’t only have to happen in December! Exchange gifts while you eat out, catch a movie, or whatever you had been wanting to do in December but didn’t have time for.
AND FINALLY…My Favorite
From Rita Henuber, author of the romantic thriller Under Fire: The Admiral
I suggest everyone stop listening to the media hype about what you should be doing to have a perfect holiday. There is no such animal. Relax. Hug your family. Do what makes you and your family happy. If you want Taco Bell, KFC, or Subway on paper plates for the family feast, DO IT! Think back to your most memorable Christmas as a child. Do you remember how perfect it was or something else? Admittedly, I am not the norm but I remember the Christmas my aunt’s furnace blew spewing oily back soot through the house and helping to clean up the mess. My husband remembers the year his flying squirrel got loose and took out the Christmas tree. I remember when my three year old son got loose at mass, crossed over the alter and went to sit in the life size nativity scene. My Midwest aunt kept her house at 89 degrees in the winter. At Christmas, my cousins and their families came in shorts and Hawaiian shirts. The pictures are hysterical.
Enjoy your day and hug your family – a lot.
So what steps do you take to Simplify Christmas? Comment for a chance to win an Amazon or B&N gift card!
*Prizes must be claimed within 5 days of being notified you've won.
SHOPPING & PRESENTS:
From Laurie Kellogg, author of the sexy, sassy holiday story No Exchanges, No Returns
I believe families bond over shared experiences, not exchanging THINGS. This gift can be a little pricier, but it's worth the extra cost. To simplify holiday shopping, find an event or activity (play, circus, ice show, concert / bowling, skiing, rollerskating, movie, etc) that the entire family will enjoy and give everyone a ticket to attend as a group. If you can afford to be really extravagant plan a shared vacation. I like to attach each ticket or invitation to a favorite snack or treat to personalize the gift. (It's only one trip to the grocery story, but you have to KNOW what each family member's guilty pleasure is). If you use tissue paper and small gift bags, your shopping is done for the entire family in less than two hours.
From Betty Bolte, author of the combination YA historical fiction and biography Hometown Heroines (True Stories of Bravery, Daring, and Adventure)
Years ago, after one memorable year trying to stuff all the presents into the trunk of the car so we could make the trip home from grandparents’ house, we started including family activities in lieu of so many “things” under the tree. So we go to see the Galaxy of Lights then go to a nice restaurant for dinner. We also try to go to a Christmas concert – at the university or a professional production – this year we’re seeing the Celtic Woman Christmas performance. This way we’re creating memories rather than filling up the house with objects, which means less time spent shopping and wrapping and more time together as a family.
From Vivi Andrews, author of the paranormal romance Finder’s Keeper
If you have a big family (like mine), consider a Secret Santa or White Elephant Gift Exchange to avoid breaking the bank while still having fun and celebrating the season. And if your family is spread out all across the world (also like mine) and shipping costs are getting out of control, you might want to try what we do - ask for volunteers to be "designated shopper" in each city (continent, whatever works for you). That shopper buys and wraps the presents locally (with consultation and reimbursement from the gift giver). The giver saves on time and shipping, while the shopper gets the fun of a gift shopping binge with someone else footing the bill. ;) We started this when my grandparents began having trouble handling the malls during the season and it has snowballed to be a family-wide phenomenon.
From author Marilyn Puett
I shop all year long and keep track of it with a list. I made a Word document with a table with three columns: Name, Gift, Bought. I list all the folks for whom I need to buy a gift and print off the document. I may pencil in gift ideas for some folks. Then during the year when I see things on sale or see the perfect item in a mail-order catalog or online, I get it, mark what it is in the Gift column, put a check mark in the Bought column and put the item on a special shelf in the closet. This year the bulk of my shopping was done by the end of October. I actually bought two gifts in November of LAST year. I saw them in a catalog, thought they would be perfect for my brother-in-law and nephew and went ahead and bought them because I was afraid they wouldn’t be available this year (they are, but they’re more expensive – WIN!). Once all the shopping is done, I type all the info into the list and save it on my hard drive. I have
lists going back quite a few years. This way Uncle So-and-So doesn’t get flannel lounge pants three years in a row. And I’m spared the stress of shopping at the last minute in all the crowds. I have to mail gifts to a lot of my family so the early shopping means I can also beat the long lines at the post office.
When I moved in October, 2009, a friend helped me pack. She saw a box in my closet marked “Playfriends’ Christmas Gifts” and said, “Really?” All I could do was nod and smile. I didn’t tell her they’d been in that box for several months. Now she’ll know. <G>
From author Jannette Spann
We have tall men in our family, 6 ft. 1 to 6 ft 7. I carry a card with their sizes in my purse year round, along with a tape measure. I don't dare depend on manufacturers tags to get the sizes right. I measure for myself. It saves time on returns.
FOOD:
From Tamara Hogan, author of the paranormal romance Chase Me
My tip has to do with COOKIES. A good friend and I get together for a full day in early December and bake holiday cookies together. We choose three recipes each, and at the end of a day spent cooking, gossiping and generally catching up, we have six kinds of cookies to to divide between us. With a beautiful collection of cookies already made, it's a simple matter to arrange a pretty plate for the neighbors, or to bring to an impromptu holiday gathering.
This sounds great, Tamara! My sister and I have done this a couple of times, not just with cookies but with pumpkin bread, chocolate covered pretzels, etc. Then we can split them into holiday containers to give out. Much more fun than cooking all day alone!
From Andrea Laurence, author of the paranormal romance Sexy as Hell
When Christmas comes around, a lot of people like to bake cookies and make candy. Unfortunately, the time is tighter that month than in any other and pre-made dough can be pretty pricy (and not that tasty, if you ask me). Save yourself time and money by making your own cookie dough ahead of time. You can probably start as early as October if you need to. It usually only takes about fifteen minutes to make a batch of cookie dough, so when you get a chance to make it, get out a cookie sheet and scoop balls of dough onto it. Stick it in the freezer for a couple hours. Once they’re frozen, you can put the dough balls in a large ziplock bag. The dough won’t stick together because it was pre-frozen. Put it back in the freezer until you’re ready to bake. Make another batch of cookie dough whenever you can and do the same. When you have the time or the need to bake, just pull out the bag and pop as many as you need into the oven. It may only require an additional minute or so of bake time from frozen. Watch your first batch’s progress and adjust accordingly.
Great idea, Andrea! This could also be done now on a weeknight, then frozen and baked later for a weekend party.
From Dani Wade, author of the contemporary romantic suspense Snow Bound
This is a combined food + present idea, but when I make up lots of food gifts, I like to use some of them for Teachers Gifts. Instead of waiting until the last day of school, I go ahead and send them with my children the next day. That way, I know teachers’ gifts are taken care of, the food is still fresh, and its one less thing my teachers have to carry home on the last day of school.
Consider making your family get-together less about meal preparation, and more about spending time together. Serve delivered pizza or have everyone bring a simple finger food, then enjoy an evening of games and conversation rather than clean-up.
One family I know makes their Christmas Eve get-together “Soup Night”. Each family brings a different soup, including several different chilis, potato soup, and beef stew. The great thing is, these can all be made in advance and frozen until the day before, then heated in crockpots. The hostess provides the “extras”, like cheese, crackers, croutons, etc. Very quick and easy!
DECORATING
From author Ella Sheridan
The past few Christmases, as my kids moved into their teenage years, have become increasingly busy. My family has simplified Christmas by going designer. What do I mean? Instead of hauling out the three tubs of family Christmas ornaments and home decor, we keep it simple and elegant: a real evergreen swag over the hearth, dotted with white candles, a real evergreen tree, decorated with 7-8 clumps of poinsettia, twigs, and feathers I save from year to year, and our nativity on the entertainment center. We can sit in the living area and enjoy Christmas without the hassle of having to work for hours to put it together or put everything away, and it looks like we spent a fortune when all we have to buy are the evergreens!
From Dani Wade
I recently received a tip from a friend when I was complaining about the hassle of decorating outside. She told me to simplify my decorations by choosing items that were easy to put out/take down and gave a lot of bang for their buck. No more ladders or hard-to-reach work. For instance, net lights for my bushes – lots of lights and all I have to do is throw them over the bush and plug in. A wreath on the door. Maybe a couple of lighted trees set on each side of the door. Voila! Done!
GET-TOGETHERS WITH FRIENDS
From Dani Wade
I don’t know about you, but I have lots of friends that I love to see over the holidays. But we all have very busy weekends that are already packed full. TWO possible solutions: 1) Get a big group of you all together on a weeknight at a restaurant. Then there’s no cooking/clean-up and fewer conflicts. 2) Put off the get-together until January, when schedules start to unwind. Christmas doesn’t only have to happen in December! Exchange gifts while you eat out, catch a movie, or whatever you had been wanting to do in December but didn’t have time for.
AND FINALLY…My Favorite
From Rita Henuber, author of the romantic thriller Under Fire: The Admiral
I suggest everyone stop listening to the media hype about what you should be doing to have a perfect holiday. There is no such animal. Relax. Hug your family. Do what makes you and your family happy. If you want Taco Bell, KFC, or Subway on paper plates for the family feast, DO IT! Think back to your most memorable Christmas as a child. Do you remember how perfect it was or something else? Admittedly, I am not the norm but I remember the Christmas my aunt’s furnace blew spewing oily back soot through the house and helping to clean up the mess. My husband remembers the year his flying squirrel got loose and took out the Christmas tree. I remember when my three year old son got loose at mass, crossed over the alter and went to sit in the life size nativity scene. My Midwest aunt kept her house at 89 degrees in the winter. At Christmas, my cousins and their families came in shorts and Hawaiian shirts. The pictures are hysterical.
Enjoy your day and hug your family – a lot.
So what steps do you take to Simplify Christmas? Comment for a chance to win an Amazon or B&N gift card!
*Prizes must be claimed within 5 days of being notified you've won.
Life gets crazy bad sometimes and the past 2 weeks were definitely there for us. In the midst of finishing my edits, I lost my day job unexpectedly. This meant a week of prepping my resume, getting medications and doctors' appointments for everyone before we lost our insurance, etc. Lots of fear, frustration, and family support.
In the midst of the chaos, I remembered something...
Stress of any kind affects the creative process. For some, they hunker down and use the work to block out what's happening around them. I'm not one of these lucky artists.
Most often, stress blocks my creativity. Tuning into my characters and focusing on the story becomes very difficult for me. Through previous experience with writer's block, I know there are times I can push it and times I can't.
This week, I knew the distraction was just the emotional chaos around and inside of me, not the writing itself, so I was able to push forward. Not easily, but I could. I had someone double check my work, because I didn't trust that some of my distraction wasn't leaking onto the page, but I got the work done. Now I'm down to just a final readthru before turning in a round of edits to my editor at Harlequin Desire. And I gained the satisfaction of knowing I could go on and complete that work despite the panic and upset of the last 2 weeks.
I'd like to share a couple of things I've learned, so if you find yourself in similar chaos, this might work for you:
1. Return to the Page
When true lack of focus hits hard, it can be difficult to even show up at the page, much less write anything. But I've found that the best solution IS to show up, write for however long you can, and accept that the time on the page may be short. I literally spent 5 hours in bed with my computer the day after I was fired. Did I get a lot accomplished? No. Maybe 10 pages of easy edits. I would read for a little while, then realize that I'd drifted away for 30 minutes, staring into nothing or watching television without really seeing it. But instead of punishing myself, I just brought my focus back to the page for however long I could. This routine was repeated on and off throughout the day. I didn't accomplish an astonishing amount, but I had the satisfaction of having done something without psychologically whipping myself over things I really couldn't control.
The next day was better, and the next. I'll never work at top speed when my life is stressful, but that's okay. I can still write.
2. Cut Yourself Some Slack
Hi, I'm Dani Wade, and I have anger management issues>>I constantly beat myself up.
This is something I'm also working on, but progress can be slow at times. I'm highly self-critical, and expect close to perfection in many areas of my life (yes, I do realize this is unrealistic, and I'm working on that). One major area of progress is in cutting myself some slack -- when I know its just one of those days when pushing through isn't going to help, I give in, back off, and rest. I know when I can push, but when I can't, I don't make it worse by continuing to pile on the pressure. Take a day off, or at least a couple of hours, and give the brain a rest. Taking care of my brain through rest, exercise, (mostly) nutritious eating means it will reward me by letting me reconnect with my story.
I'll continue to repeat this process until the distractions pass, looking forward to the day when the connection is completely open.
So how do you get through the tough writing times?
Dani
Have you ever driven all week in your car, rushing through all the To Dos on your schedule, only to have your car stop on Friday, right in the middle of the road?
Out of gas.
Sometimes our bodies and minds are like that. We go and do, because our family needs us, friends need us, employers demand us, and the muse is running on high. Before we know it, our tank is on empty and we want to do nothing more than collapse.
Because the car can’t keep going if we don’t fuel it up.
Commonly called “refilling the well”, the idea is to replenish your energy and Can Do spirit by giving back to yourself in a way that energizes your mind and body.
Unfortunately, I don’t read my energy meter very well, so I often find myself on E. I’m trying to be more mindful of this. As a mother… as a writer… as a wife… I need to reward my body and mind for all the hard work it does for me. And be gentle with myself.
So how do we refill the well? Some ideas:
1. Artist’s Date -- Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way recommends Artists Dates. This is the chance to go somewhere new and different – a museum, antique store, model home – anything that you’ve wanted to do but put off because its silly, unnecessary, or no one else wants to go. It is supposed to be done alone, and I can see why. If I take someone else with me, then I worry about whether they are having a good time, ready to leave, etc. Instead, immerse yourself in YOUR enjoyment of the experience.
2. Reward Day – My sister and I came up with this concept. Before I get so overwhelmed that I crash, I schedule a day to do only what I want to do. I read all day if I want. Eat (or order out) what I want to eat. Claim the big screen TV for myself. What defines your Ideal Day? Do it! No excuses! (and I don't want to hear how you don't have time. I REALLY don't have time. If I can do this once a month, so can you!)
3. Go to the movies – There’s nothing like vegging out with a great movie and popcorn. Check the local theaters and make seeing something YOU want to see a priority. Low on cash? See if you have a Dollar Theater in your area. I can go see a movie I missed in the regular theater at our local discount theater for about $5, including snacks.
4. Girls Night Out – Actually, it doesn’t have to be at night. Try lunch, coffee, shopping. You could even meet at Walmart – you have to get groceries sometime. I have a friend that I have “tea” with occasionally. Any girl time is refreshing and rewarding.
5. Share a movie or game night with your family or some friends once every couple of weeks. This helps you reconnect with those around you and remember what living is all about – laughter, companionship, and fun! Not just work, work, work.
6. I know we don’t all have large chunks of time to rejuvenate our spirits, so here are a few Minute Saviors – ideas that can take as little as 1 minute, or as much as 60.
So tell me, what do you do (or want to do) to refill your well?
Dani
**Next week we’ll talk about the ultimate way to refill your well: Retreat!
Unfortunately, I don’t read my energy meter very well, so I often find myself on E. I’m trying to be more mindful of this. As a mother… as a writer… as a wife… I need to reward my body and mind for all the hard work it does for me. And be gentle with myself.
So how do we refill the well? Some ideas:
1. Artist’s Date -- Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way recommends Artists Dates. This is the chance to go somewhere new and different – a museum, antique store, model home – anything that you’ve wanted to do but put off because its silly, unnecessary, or no one else wants to go. It is supposed to be done alone, and I can see why. If I take someone else with me, then I worry about whether they are having a good time, ready to leave, etc. Instead, immerse yourself in YOUR enjoyment of the experience.
2. Reward Day – My sister and I came up with this concept. Before I get so overwhelmed that I crash, I schedule a day to do only what I want to do. I read all day if I want. Eat (or order out) what I want to eat. Claim the big screen TV for myself. What defines your Ideal Day? Do it! No excuses! (and I don't want to hear how you don't have time. I REALLY don't have time. If I can do this once a month, so can you!)
3. Go to the movies – There’s nothing like vegging out with a great movie and popcorn. Check the local theaters and make seeing something YOU want to see a priority. Low on cash? See if you have a Dollar Theater in your area. I can go see a movie I missed in the regular theater at our local discount theater for about $5, including snacks.
4. Girls Night Out – Actually, it doesn’t have to be at night. Try lunch, coffee, shopping. You could even meet at Walmart – you have to get groceries sometime. I have a friend that I have “tea” with occasionally. Any girl time is refreshing and rewarding.
5. Share a movie or game night with your family or some friends once every couple of weeks. This helps you reconnect with those around you and remember what living is all about – laughter, companionship, and fun! Not just work, work, work.
6. I know we don’t all have large chunks of time to rejuvenate our spirits, so here are a few Minute Saviors – ideas that can take as little as 1 minute, or as much as 60.
- Put on headphones and listen to a few songs with your eyes closed.
- Utilize a personalized meditation app on your smart phone or iPod. I use a Simply Being meditation app that allows me to personalize the time and background music. It works great for me, and even my teenage daughter will use it sometimes.
- Lock the door and watch “your” show, even if you have to turn out the lights and pretend you aren’t home when your family knocks.
- Take a 30 minute reading break to help transition between “work” time and “home” time (if you can limit yourself – I can’t).
- Let yourself nap, even if its only laying in a dark room with your eyes closed for a mere 20 minutes.
So tell me, what do you do (or want to do) to refill your well?
Dani
**Next week we’ll talk about the ultimate way to refill your well: Retreat!