We’re working hard to slim down before RWA Nationals in July through healthy eating, exercise, sharing information, and accountability. Join us any time along the way, introduce yourself and post goals, or just contribute to the conversation! We’re here to share!
The biggest challenge in getting healthy, for me, is Mindset. It’s too easy to tell myself, Well, this once it won’t hurt to… One little cookie won’t make that much of a difference… Missing exercise just this once isn’t a big deal… But I feed myself these excuses again and again.
I let myself get away with things I shouldn’t because I won’t tell myself “No. You can’t have that (or that much).” My internal dialogue needs some serious adjusting.
I don’t think switching to all negative self-talk and beating myself up will help, but a gentle reminder of what I have to gain through self-restraint or continuing to work hard would go a long way towards changing my outlook and helping me confront temptation head on.
So I’m making a list of reminders to guide me until I can maintain a different internal dialogue. It needs to become second nature. So here are some ideas for more positive internal dialogue:
Food:
“Eating that will not make you feel better.”
“Your health is extremely important. Is eating this going to help you reach your health goals?”
The occasional “Not having that cake (cookies, etc) won’t kill you,” probably wouldn’t hurt either.
Exercise:
“Remember how good it feels to workout on the elliptical?”
“Exercising will help your body regulate your insulin and sugar better.”
“Moving will lift your mood.”
“Remember how the story ideas flow when you work out and crank up the music?”
General
“Being here for my family is more important than this moment.”
“I can write better and longer when I feel better physically.”
CHALLENGE: What are some positive internal thoughts that would help us reach our goals?
Share Your Progress! (even if the #s haven’t changed, we still have lots to celebrate)
Dani
Anybody else charging ahead at full steam into the New Year? :) The holidays are behind us, decorations are boxed up, new toys are in play, and its past time to embrace 2013 with its 365 days of possibilities.
My new year got started with an old lesson. You see, right before Christmas, I caught a flu virus that had me off work for 3 days and in bed for 5. Then my car was stolen, and we had to make replacement arrangements (which included an unexpected family visit), and then I topped off New Years with a secondary bacterial infection in my throat. All this with a proposal still due and family activities cropping up left and right.
So my first lesson of the year 2013 was: It's okay to rest.
I talked about this late last year, but I'm obviously a slow learner. This knowledge hit me hard. I was battling illness and a boatload of stress, and still felt obligated to press on as if everything was normal. Needless to say, that got old quick. I realized it wasn't the end of the world if I had to bow out of something. People usually understand.
After a full day and work and still being sick, I just couldn't push myself to attend my husband's family's Christmas Eve party -- one of my favorite parts of our Christmas celebrations. I stayed home and dozed on the couch, so I had more energy for our Christmas day plans. Then my daughter got to play my part in the adult dirty Santa game -- something she'd been trying to sneak into for several years.
I definitely learned my creative brain does not function well while sick! I spent several nights simply staring at my computer screen, unable to get any words. Still, I persisted. In this case, all I did was increase my frustration and uncertainty about my story. If I'd waited until my brain came back online (know that feeling?), I would have progressed faster without all that angst (great for stories, not so great for creating).
So I cut myself some mental slack. This is one of the hardest things for me to do! Even when my body won't go anymore, my brain is still in "you should be..." mode. I'm practicing my new comeback: Yes, but it will still be there when I get to it. :) Works most... okay, some... of the time. But practice will hopefully make perfect.
So today I'm celebrating once again being healthy and life settling into some sort of normalcy. I'm celebrating rest and relaxation. This will be a GOOD year! What are you celebrating at the start of this new year?
Dani
My new year got started with an old lesson. You see, right before Christmas, I caught a flu virus that had me off work for 3 days and in bed for 5. Then my car was stolen, and we had to make replacement arrangements (which included an unexpected family visit), and then I topped off New Years with a secondary bacterial infection in my throat. All this with a proposal still due and family activities cropping up left and right.
So my first lesson of the year 2013 was: It's okay to rest.
I talked about this late last year, but I'm obviously a slow learner. This knowledge hit me hard. I was battling illness and a boatload of stress, and still felt obligated to press on as if everything was normal. Needless to say, that got old quick. I realized it wasn't the end of the world if I had to bow out of something. People usually understand.
After a full day and work and still being sick, I just couldn't push myself to attend my husband's family's Christmas Eve party -- one of my favorite parts of our Christmas celebrations. I stayed home and dozed on the couch, so I had more energy for our Christmas day plans. Then my daughter got to play my part in the adult dirty Santa game -- something she'd been trying to sneak into for several years.
I definitely learned my creative brain does not function well while sick! I spent several nights simply staring at my computer screen, unable to get any words. Still, I persisted. In this case, all I did was increase my frustration and uncertainty about my story. If I'd waited until my brain came back online (know that feeling?), I would have progressed faster without all that angst (great for stories, not so great for creating).
So I cut myself some mental slack. This is one of the hardest things for me to do! Even when my body won't go anymore, my brain is still in "you should be..." mode. I'm practicing my new comeback: Yes, but it will still be there when I get to it. :) Works most... okay, some... of the time. But practice will hopefully make perfect.
So today I'm celebrating once again being healthy and life settling into some sort of normalcy. I'm celebrating rest and relaxation. This will be a GOOD year! What are you celebrating at the start of this new year?
Dani SNOW BOUND BLOG TOUR
Over the next few weeks, I'll be visiting various blogs to share different snippets and experiences of SNOW BOUND with readers. But I wanted to start off with something special on my own blog today: how SNOW BOUND came into being. This story is very special to me, and I want to share that with my very own readers here at home. I'd been having a particularly difficult time with my writing, a period of darkness as I dealt with questions like "What am I really doing?", "Am I just wasting my time?", "What direction do I really want to go in?". There were way more questions than answers, and discouragement had become a way of life. In search of encouragement, I went to close friend and Maven Linda Winstead Jones, pouring out my angst and frustration.
Linda had read my work before, both in the past and recently, and she coached me on a few areas, including characterization. But her biggest piece of advice to me was: go home and write something just for fun. Something you want to write because it excites you, interests you. I'd spend so much time writing to different lines that I'd forgotten what excited me about writing.
I didn't start that day, but over the next few weeks the idea started brewing. Before I knew it, Damon had started talking to me and I was exploring his pleasure-focused way of wandering through life. Who better to challenge him than the 1 woman he'd vowed to stay away from: a single Southern belle ripe for marriage. Only he didn't realize this was 1 woman who could take care of herself - in every way.
I had so much fun with them! Did it answer all my questions? Solve all my problems? No. But it taught me that I needed to enjoy what I was doing, to write something that excited ME, not just fit someone else's requirements. I hope I never forget that lesson!
So tell me, what's the best piece of advice you've ever been given?
DON'T FORGET to comment on my Autumn's Harvest Blog Hop post (below) for a chance to win my fall goodies and an Amazon gift card, along with chances to win some big prizes like a Kindle! Chances to win end tonight!
SNOW BOUND
Available now through Amazon (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009Z1FCW6 ) and Smashwords (https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/251508 ) .
The last thing Damon West wants is a trip to his bookish neighbor’s house in the midst of the worst snowstorm Cadence, TN, has seen in a decade. Still, his military instincts warn him that Miss Priss could use a little help. His arrival is met with an attack by an unknown assailant and the sight of Miss Priss in a sexy wisp of nothing-much, confidently wielding a double-barreled shotgun.
Tori Anderson carefully portrays herself as a responsible bookstore owner and capable young woman to anyone willing to look twice. But two men grappling in her backyard called for speed more than decorum. That’s how the guy she’d been secretly lusting after since he’d bought the house next door sees her in a silky robe and panties—with nothing in between. Damon’s sudden interest thrills her, but she can’t help worrying about the unknown threat scared off by her shotgun blast.
Trapped in her house under several feet of snow with no way to reach the outside world, Tori finally has the chance to indulge her wildest fantasies. But she isn’t sure which is more daunting—the abusive boyfriend back to punish her or her desire to have more than one night with the town’s most unavailable bachelor.
Ah, we all have them, those rushed weeknights full of Cub Scout meetings, music lessons, sporting practices, and church activities. We rush, rush, rush to get there, then wait while our beautiful children do their thing. Often twiddling our thumbs when, as writers, we could be accomplishing a whole lot in the span of an hour.
[caption id="attachment_188" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Game Time![/caption]
Now I might as well admit up front that I was never one of those women glued to the viewing window when my daughter took gymnastics. I'd glance out once in a while during class to see what they were up to, but otherwise I had better things to do than critique her every tumble and roll. That’s what the teacher is there for. I know that sounds judgmental of me, but its totally true. I don't need to watch every second, especially if I can sit where I can see the action just by looking up. I don't need to spend the whole time critiquing team performance (though I may mentally be cataloguing the coach's performance and making sure my child is safe). And I don't need to talk ad nauseum about the season, upcoming events, other teams, etc.
I need to be writing.
You know how these types of weeknights go: get home, snack, homework, barely enough time to breathe before starting dinner, chow down quick enough to get ready and go. By the time you get home that night, you're exhausted and creativity has disappeared beneath the tidal wave of To Dos. But my schedule doesn't wait for me to have time, its there for me to MAKE time.
Here are some of my options for writing (or writing related activities) during these little pockets of kid activities:
1. Be Prepared
I've found this is easier if I'm prepared. I keep a tote bag packed with a notebook, headphones, pens...just waiting for me to drop in my iPod, plotting notes, and alphie. What's that, you ask? When writing on the go, I find an Alpha Smart to be really helpful. This is a portable, almost indestructible word processing unit (I bought the basic Neo with no option for connecting to the internet) that saves immediately and can download directly into a Word document. Lite enough for me to carry it everywhere and it has 8 different files that I can work on. I also carry a small notebook in my purse, so if I'm caught out I can at least make notes or hand write scenes on that and transcribe it later.
[caption id="attachment_189" align="aligncenter" width="267"]
Music Lessons, Anyone?[/caption]
2. Actually Write
I have to start writing immediately, before I get sucked into conversations or daydream away the whole hour. I find a comfortable chair (or spot on the basketball court sidelines -- I'm not above sitting on the floor) and pull out the alphie and notes. No piddling! If I'm not in the mood to dip into my story, I can easily write up a blog post, article, or notes during that time.
3. Editing Anyone?
Some people can't write with people or noise around, and I totally understand that. But even if you can't write, you can try editing. I have to have my (old and heavy) laptop for this, but I can get a lot of editing done in this space of time. And the screen on my laptop does even more to deter conversations than the flat alphie.
4. Antisocial Much?
For some, this approach is a little too antisocial for them. I get it. But you could still get something accomplished during "bleacher time". Don't start off talking -- its too hard to rein that puppy in once it gets started. But give yourself 45 minutes to write, then pack up and spend the last 15 minutes connecting with the parents around you.
[caption id="attachment_190" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Even More Game Time[/caption]
5. Non-writing Options
If you aren't prepared to write, then there are a few other things you can do to make this downtime worthwhile:
-People watch: Gain some insight into people's actions, how they move, gestures, how they talk to each other, etc., to make your characters come to life.
-Read a craft book: Keep a craft book or Kindle with you and spend some time brushing up on techniques that will deepen your skills.
How do you fit what you need to do into the "bleacher time"?
Dani
Game Time![/caption]
Now I might as well admit up front that I was never one of those women glued to the viewing window when my daughter took gymnastics. I'd glance out once in a while during class to see what they were up to, but otherwise I had better things to do than critique her every tumble and roll. That’s what the teacher is there for. I know that sounds judgmental of me, but its totally true. I don't need to watch every second, especially if I can sit where I can see the action just by looking up. I don't need to spend the whole time critiquing team performance (though I may mentally be cataloguing the coach's performance and making sure my child is safe). And I don't need to talk ad nauseum about the season, upcoming events, other teams, etc.
I need to be writing.
You know how these types of weeknights go: get home, snack, homework, barely enough time to breathe before starting dinner, chow down quick enough to get ready and go. By the time you get home that night, you're exhausted and creativity has disappeared beneath the tidal wave of To Dos. But my schedule doesn't wait for me to have time, its there for me to MAKE time.
Here are some of my options for writing (or writing related activities) during these little pockets of kid activities:
1. Be Prepared
I've found this is easier if I'm prepared. I keep a tote bag packed with a notebook, headphones, pens...just waiting for me to drop in my iPod, plotting notes, and alphie. What's that, you ask? When writing on the go, I find an Alpha Smart to be really helpful. This is a portable, almost indestructible word processing unit (I bought the basic Neo with no option for connecting to the internet) that saves immediately and can download directly into a Word document. Lite enough for me to carry it everywhere and it has 8 different files that I can work on. I also carry a small notebook in my purse, so if I'm caught out I can at least make notes or hand write scenes on that and transcribe it later.
[caption id="attachment_189" align="aligncenter" width="267"]
Music Lessons, Anyone?[/caption]
2. Actually Write
I have to start writing immediately, before I get sucked into conversations or daydream away the whole hour. I find a comfortable chair (or spot on the basketball court sidelines -- I'm not above sitting on the floor) and pull out the alphie and notes. No piddling! If I'm not in the mood to dip into my story, I can easily write up a blog post, article, or notes during that time.
3. Editing Anyone?
Some people can't write with people or noise around, and I totally understand that. But even if you can't write, you can try editing. I have to have my (old and heavy) laptop for this, but I can get a lot of editing done in this space of time. And the screen on my laptop does even more to deter conversations than the flat alphie.
4. Antisocial Much?
For some, this approach is a little too antisocial for them. I get it. But you could still get something accomplished during "bleacher time". Don't start off talking -- its too hard to rein that puppy in once it gets started. But give yourself 45 minutes to write, then pack up and spend the last 15 minutes connecting with the parents around you.
[caption id="attachment_190" align="aligncenter" width="300"]
Even More Game Time[/caption]
5. Non-writing Options
If you aren't prepared to write, then there are a few other things you can do to make this downtime worthwhile:
-People watch: Gain some insight into people's actions, how they move, gestures, how they talk to each other, etc., to make your characters come to life.
-Read a craft book: Keep a craft book or Kindle with you and spend some time brushing up on techniques that will deepen your skills.
How do you fit what you need to do into the "bleacher time"?
Dani
Life gets crazy bad sometimes and the past 2 weeks were definitely there for us. In the midst of finishing my edits, I lost my day job unexpectedly. This meant a week of prepping my resume, getting medications and doctors' appointments for everyone before we lost our insurance, etc. Lots of fear, frustration, and family support.
In the midst of the chaos, I remembered something...
Stress of any kind affects the creative process. For some, they hunker down and use the work to block out what's happening around them. I'm not one of these lucky artists.
Most often, stress blocks my creativity. Tuning into my characters and focusing on the story becomes very difficult for me. Through previous experience with writer's block, I know there are times I can push it and times I can't.
This week, I knew the distraction was just the emotional chaos around and inside of me, not the writing itself, so I was able to push forward. Not easily, but I could. I had someone double check my work, because I didn't trust that some of my distraction wasn't leaking onto the page, but I got the work done. Now I'm down to just a final readthru before turning in a round of edits to my editor at Harlequin Desire. And I gained the satisfaction of knowing I could go on and complete that work despite the panic and upset of the last 2 weeks.
I'd like to share a couple of things I've learned, so if you find yourself in similar chaos, this might work for you:
1. Return to the Page
When true lack of focus hits hard, it can be difficult to even show up at the page, much less write anything. But I've found that the best solution IS to show up, write for however long you can, and accept that the time on the page may be short. I literally spent 5 hours in bed with my computer the day after I was fired. Did I get a lot accomplished? No. Maybe 10 pages of easy edits. I would read for a little while, then realize that I'd drifted away for 30 minutes, staring into nothing or watching television without really seeing it. But instead of punishing myself, I just brought my focus back to the page for however long I could. This routine was repeated on and off throughout the day. I didn't accomplish an astonishing amount, but I had the satisfaction of having done something without psychologically whipping myself over things I really couldn't control.
The next day was better, and the next. I'll never work at top speed when my life is stressful, but that's okay. I can still write.
2. Cut Yourself Some Slack
Hi, I'm Dani Wade, and I have anger management issues>>I constantly beat myself up.
This is something I'm also working on, but progress can be slow at times. I'm highly self-critical, and expect close to perfection in many areas of my life (yes, I do realize this is unrealistic, and I'm working on that). One major area of progress is in cutting myself some slack -- when I know its just one of those days when pushing through isn't going to help, I give in, back off, and rest. I know when I can push, but when I can't, I don't make it worse by continuing to pile on the pressure. Take a day off, or at least a couple of hours, and give the brain a rest. Taking care of my brain through rest, exercise, (mostly) nutritious eating means it will reward me by letting me reconnect with my story.
I'll continue to repeat this process until the distractions pass, looking forward to the day when the connection is completely open.
So how do you get through the tough writing times?
Dani
I've had the privilege of being a part of the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood since my Golden Heart (R) final in 2009. These wonderful ladies shared that same excitement and honor with me that year, and have created an outstanding blog that encourages, teaches, and empathizes with fellow writers and women.
Today's post is an incredible account of how 1 Ruby Sister helped heal herself emotionally and physically during her battle with Ovarian Cancer through writing. September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month and her story is 1 of the most inspiring I've read in a long time. This is a must read for all woman and writers!
[caption id="attachment_159" align="aligncenter" width="223"]
Author Heather McCollum[/caption]
http://www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com/saving-myself/
Author Heather McCollum[/caption]
http://www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com/saving-myself/ 
My blogmates at The Writing Playground are hostessing a cyber-party for me today to celebrate my sale. I'd love for y'all to join us! Cyber-massages, Krispy Kreme donuts, and chocolate martinis for everyone! Not to mention my Call Story from amazing editor Shana Smith of Harlequin Desire!
Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for;
it is a thing to be achieved.
William JenningsBryan
I’ve tried to think about what I would say or how I would address my big news this week on my blog. I’ve sat down several times to write this post and not a single word would come easily. How do I explain what a momentous event selling my first book is to me? Without sounding sappy or naïve or over the top… but then, anyone who knows me knows I’m emotional and sentimental and, yeah, hmmm. This is even more challenging than I thought. The facts: I sold my first book to Shana Smith, Associate Editor for Harlequin Desire. She called last Monday and I’ve been over the moon ever since. I’ve celebrated on Facebook, Twitter, with family and friends, and I’ll be posting my call story on The Writing Playground on Wednesday for a big online party over there! Very exciting! But I think what I want to talk about here, today, is what I’ve learned this week from receiving what we writers refer to as The Call. I’ve been writing for a long time, submitting, selling short stories, getting rejections, finalling in contests, and still no sells. Sometimes the struggle was so hard that I’ll admit, I took a couple of breaks. But I never really stopped. The voices in my head kept talking; the hope in my heart kept bobbing back to the surface. So I couldn’t stop writing, and I couldn’t stop submitting for long. As the quote above says, destiny is grounded in the choices we make, the achievements we strive for. I chose to hone my craft, actively write, edit my work, and surround myself with encouraging friends. My dream has always been to be a published author of romance novels, and through a lot of hard work, perseverance, and the direction of a great editor, that dream came true this week.
Bottom line: Perseverance isn’t fun, isn’t pretty, and doesn’t always feel good – but it can create the most beautiful results. I hope you’ll join me in celebrating Wednesday on the Playground! I’ll be sharing more details from this exciting first step in my publishing career as they become available.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me!