The past few weeks have been crazy! On top of my first book release, I've started a new day job that requires longer hours and no internet access (I'm definitely feeling the deprivation). As a wife, mother, and woman with a bazillion things that need to be done, I can relate with the need to juggle and make things work. We all have to do it. And when change comes into our lives, so do new coping strategies.
At least, I'm hoping they do! I've been trying out several different things, working to make everything run smoothly and also leave time for me to write and sleep and have some kind of a life. As we all know, there's never any definitive answers, and as soon as our families settle into a pattern something new usually comes along. But for now, here's a few goals that I'm aiming for every day:
1. Keep meals simple, utilize the crockpot often, and save the meal for the weekend if its going to take to long to prepare. Oh, and we're eating plenty of leftovers. I'm hoping if we have frozen foods once or twice a week, there won't be any lasting damage!
2. Use my lunch break to get in some writing or plotting, so that I've already started the process before I finally get to write at home. This usually nets me at least 500 words, and really rejuvenates me during the day. It also helps me feel like I'm accomplishing something on those nights when we have too many things going on and I have to hit the bed without writing.
3. Don't multitask. At least in terms of creativity and family. Now household chores, sure, it works great. But my creativity needs one-on-one time, and so does my family, even if its short bursts. That's a whole new way of thinking about things for me, and will take a little adjustment. Okay, a lot. :) I'm slow, but I eventually get there.
4. Take time for me. Just because life is busy, I work 2 jobs, and always seem to be behind on something, doesn't mean I don't deserve some free time now and again. In fact, I work better if I give myself a break. That's a hard 1 to remember, but it really is true! This might mean a nice, hot bath, or a couple of days to read a book.
As you know, I'm always open to suggestions! I'm still struggling to fit in exercise, keep up with the kids' school stuff, and keep the house clean (though I'm proud to say that we still wouldn't be shut down if the health inspector came, even if I haven't dusted in almost a month). Tell me, how do you do it all? What do you let slide? Where do you spend your time wisely?
Dani
[caption id="attachment_253" align="aligncenter" width="228"]
From My Family to Yours[/caption]
As an author, I'm on a slow learning curve when it comes to social media (blogging, Twitter, Facebook, etc) and how to use it to connect with readers, fellow authors, and industry professionals (and I truly mean connect, not bombard with promotional posts). I'm not the best at it, but I'm truly trying to figure some aspects of it out. I'm an introvert, but also enjoy social interaction. The perfectionist in me wants to do it RIGHT (or at least, not embarrass myself in public).
In my search to learn all I can, I've been reading a blog by Kristen Lamb that is absolutely invaluable in this area and many other aspects of a writer's journey. The post I'm sharing with you today is about rest. If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you might have seen that this is a problem area for me. I want to rest, but then I feel guilty about resting because I should be DOING something during that time. But Kristen discusses what I've long suspected and struggle to absorb: sometimes stopping to rest means farther progress in the long run.
Check it out!
http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/add-word-count-why-dead-bodies-are-good-for-the-living/
Dani
From My Family to Yours[/caption]
As an author, I'm on a slow learning curve when it comes to social media (blogging, Twitter, Facebook, etc) and how to use it to connect with readers, fellow authors, and industry professionals (and I truly mean connect, not bombard with promotional posts). I'm not the best at it, but I'm truly trying to figure some aspects of it out. I'm an introvert, but also enjoy social interaction. The perfectionist in me wants to do it RIGHT (or at least, not embarrass myself in public).
In my search to learn all I can, I've been reading a blog by Kristen Lamb that is absolutely invaluable in this area and many other aspects of a writer's journey. The post I'm sharing with you today is about rest. If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you might have seen that this is a problem area for me. I want to rest, but then I feel guilty about resting because I should be DOING something during that time. But Kristen discusses what I've long suspected and struggle to absorb: sometimes stopping to rest means farther progress in the long run.
Check it out!
http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2012/10/12/add-word-count-why-dead-bodies-are-good-for-the-living/
Dani
During the month of October, I've seen more than my share of pumpkins, hay rides, and scarecrows. But I haven't really delved into the heart of Halloween: spooky, scary, and screaming!
Now, I have to admit, I was raised a little too puritanical to get into the ghosts and goblins. My children will go neighborhood Trick or Treating as Trigger Happy (Skylanders) and an Eskimo princess (though I suspect we are almost to the end of Book Worm’s trips). But when it comes to adult Halloween indulgences, I absolutely love SCARY MOVIES!!! This time of the year, I'm reminded of all my faves when they start playing the 100 Scariest Movies on Bravo. Love that show! I could watch it over and over again (as long as the kids aren't up).
[caption id="attachment_180" align="aligncenter" width="209"]
Oldie but Goodie[/caption]
I know, I know. What is a sweet, innocent thing like me doing watching scary movies? I mean, really, I'm honestly scared of just about everything else! It is a true paradox. What amazes me is that none of my friends or family seem to like them, except my husband. He has the joy of being able to brag to his friends that I don’t drag him to see chick flicks – oh, no, he gets to go see horror and suspense/action flicks instead! My hubby knows that he turn any horror movie from Netflix, no matter how cheesy, and I'll watch it. Pack the kids off to bed, turn off the lights, put on the headphones, and check frequently over my shoulder in case the boogey man shows up.
Here are some of my faves:
Favorite slasher film: As a whole, straight slasher flicks aren't my first choice of watching material. I only like a select few and they have to be really well done for me to watch them again. Of course, the original HALLOWEEN must get a nod. Scary stuff. But my favorite is SCREAM, Wes Craven's clever spoof on slasher films. Intelligent and funny, this one gets my vote. The sequels weren’t bad either.
Favorite zombie movie: RESIDENT EVIL!!! Evil corporations, underground cities, zombie attack dogs, and walking dead people.... What's not to love? Milla Jovovich kicks serious butt! She has to, or she couldn't go on to make three sequels. The second was even better than the first, especially since it featured one of my favorite hotties, Oded Fehr. *fans self* I suggest you wait to rent the third if you must see it. I was disappointed. Maybe I’ll get to see the fourth in the theaters?
Favorite horror comedy: Want a little laugh with your horror? Try SHAUN OF THE DEAD. This movie cracked me up with its off-the-wall jokes, dumb zombies, romance, and great acting, all pulled off with cool English accents.
Favorite ghosts: ROSE RED, a made-for-tv movie written by Stephen King about a house haunted by Ellen Rimbauer and her servant Sukeena. A team of paranormal investigators spend the weekend trapped in the house, where they are killed off one by one. I have this one on DVD and have watched it many times.
Favorite Stephen King: ROSE RED, since it won in two different categories, see description above. Another one of King's I love is IT. I first watched this mini-series as a teenager in my future husband's basement bedroom, no lights, with seven other teens. Every little noise had us screaming bloody murder!
But my favorite part of the Stephen King movies is to watch and see if King will make an appearance. He usually does, except in 1408, I believe. But I've only seen that once, so I may have missed it.
Favorite Old School: Anything Vincent Price, but the one I always have time for is PIT AND THE PENDULUM. We have a movie collection of his on DVD.
Favorite psychological thriller: IDENTITY with John Cusack. I love him!!! This movie features a group of people trapped at a run down motel, and they have to figure out how they are connected. This one had me guessing until the end.
Favorite television series: THE WALKING DEAD. A group of survivors trying to live through a zombie apocalypse and have some sort of normal existence. Ups, downs, and lots of slaughter.
Show that scared me the most: Dark Castle's remake of HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL. It took me a really long time to rewatch this movie about people invited to an abandoned insane asylum, where they must survive the night to win a million dollars. Geoffrey Rush revises Vincent Price's role (and looks a lot like him, too). There are lots of flashbacks to the time when the asylum was open and experiments conducted on its patients. Just too freaky for me. Although, I find THE RING freakier, but since I haven’t actually been able to make myself watch it, it doesn’t count.
Well, I hope I've inspired you to go rent a scary movie for Halloween night and pile up on the couch with the hubby and some popcorn to watch it. In the dark. Even if it is only SCOOBY DOO AND THE LOCH NESS MONSTER...
Tell us your favorite spooky movie or scary movie story!
Dani
Oldie but Goodie[/caption]
I know, I know. What is a sweet, innocent thing like me doing watching scary movies? I mean, really, I'm honestly scared of just about everything else! It is a true paradox. What amazes me is that none of my friends or family seem to like them, except my husband. He has the joy of being able to brag to his friends that I don’t drag him to see chick flicks – oh, no, he gets to go see horror and suspense/action flicks instead! My hubby knows that he turn any horror movie from Netflix, no matter how cheesy, and I'll watch it. Pack the kids off to bed, turn off the lights, put on the headphones, and check frequently over my shoulder in case the boogey man shows up.
Here are some of my faves:
Favorite slasher film: As a whole, straight slasher flicks aren't my first choice of watching material. I only like a select few and they have to be really well done for me to watch them again. Of course, the original HALLOWEEN must get a nod. Scary stuff. But my favorite is SCREAM, Wes Craven's clever spoof on slasher films. Intelligent and funny, this one gets my vote. The sequels weren’t bad either.
Favorite zombie movie: RESIDENT EVIL!!! Evil corporations, underground cities, zombie attack dogs, and walking dead people.... What's not to love? Milla Jovovich kicks serious butt! She has to, or she couldn't go on to make three sequels. The second was even better than the first, especially since it featured one of my favorite hotties, Oded Fehr. *fans self* I suggest you wait to rent the third if you must see it. I was disappointed. Maybe I’ll get to see the fourth in the theaters?
Favorite horror comedy: Want a little laugh with your horror? Try SHAUN OF THE DEAD. This movie cracked me up with its off-the-wall jokes, dumb zombies, romance, and great acting, all pulled off with cool English accents.
Favorite ghosts: ROSE RED, a made-for-tv movie written by Stephen King about a house haunted by Ellen Rimbauer and her servant Sukeena. A team of paranormal investigators spend the weekend trapped in the house, where they are killed off one by one. I have this one on DVD and have watched it many times.
Favorite Stephen King: ROSE RED, since it won in two different categories, see description above. Another one of King's I love is IT. I first watched this mini-series as a teenager in my future husband's basement bedroom, no lights, with seven other teens. Every little noise had us screaming bloody murder!
But my favorite part of the Stephen King movies is to watch and see if King will make an appearance. He usually does, except in 1408, I believe. But I've only seen that once, so I may have missed it.
Favorite Old School: Anything Vincent Price, but the one I always have time for is PIT AND THE PENDULUM. We have a movie collection of his on DVD.
Favorite psychological thriller: IDENTITY with John Cusack. I love him!!! This movie features a group of people trapped at a run down motel, and they have to figure out how they are connected. This one had me guessing until the end.
Favorite television series: THE WALKING DEAD. A group of survivors trying to live through a zombie apocalypse and have some sort of normal existence. Ups, downs, and lots of slaughter.
Show that scared me the most: Dark Castle's remake of HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL. It took me a really long time to rewatch this movie about people invited to an abandoned insane asylum, where they must survive the night to win a million dollars. Geoffrey Rush revises Vincent Price's role (and looks a lot like him, too). There are lots of flashbacks to the time when the asylum was open and experiments conducted on its patients. Just too freaky for me. Although, I find THE RING freakier, but since I haven’t actually been able to make myself watch it, it doesn’t count.
Well, I hope I've inspired you to go rent a scary movie for Halloween night and pile up on the couch with the hubby and some popcorn to watch it. In the dark. Even if it is only SCOOBY DOO AND THE LOCH NESS MONSTER...
Tell us your favorite spooky movie or scary movie story!
Dani
Women have lots of frustrations – wash clothes and someone puts more in the dirty clothes hamper, wash dishes and someone uses a glass! Even at work, I put in a round of account payments and more show up.
So today I've decided to talk about why I'm addicted to writing. I know my family must often wonder why I'd prefer to fritter away my time putting words on paper rather than doing their dirty laundry. Well, they'll find the answer in the following (if they were allowed to read it):
**Caveat: These same reasons could also be applied to reading, scrapbooking, knitting, acting, or any hobby or career a person decided to invest themselves in!
#1: Writing stays done.
Once those words are on the page, they stay there. When I turn my back, they don't disappear. No one messes them up. No one erases them. I don't have to rewrite them every 5, 15, or 30 minutes. It's permanent (as long as I backed them up on disk). I may have to revise, but that’s MY choice!
#2: It never complains.
My writing doesn't turn its nose up at what I cook for dinner. Doesn't turn into a prima donna when it doesn't get its way. Doesn't collapse to the floor in a tantrum of tears. Doesn't make seemingly innocent comments about being neglected.
#3: It shows up for an appointment.
Writing is always there. It never stands me up when I'm ready to work. Sure, I've suffered from writer's block plenty of times. But that's not the writing's fault, that's mine. I never have to worry that I'll set aside time to work and end up with no characters, plot, or ideas to work with.
#4: Writing Friends are willing to help.
I've never had a fellow author refuse to answer a question. Never had a brainstorming or critique partner tell me it was too much trouble to work on my book. Never had a Playfriend look exasperated when I asked for help or advice.
#5: Writing never makes me feel guilty.
It doesn't have a "poor pitiful me" look. Doesn't beg, whine, or tear up. Doesn't give me the cold shoulder. And is its own reward for hard work. I’ve felt guilty FOR writing, but again, that hang-up is mine.
#6: Which brings us back to #1: Writing stays done.
It doesn't disappear like my nice, neat flower beds after I've spent weeks digging grass out of them—only to have it grow back in two days.
People wonder why I want to use my free time writing, besides getting another contract? Because it makes the frustrations in life easier to deal with; it shows me the hope beyond the pain; it celebrates the love of friends and family (despite the dirty laundry); it takes me on a journey away from the mundane. Life wouldn't be life without it.
How does writing/reading help you cope with everyday life?
Dani
So today I've decided to talk about why I'm addicted to writing. I know my family must often wonder why I'd prefer to fritter away my time putting words on paper rather than doing their dirty laundry. Well, they'll find the answer in the following (if they were allowed to read it):
**Caveat: These same reasons could also be applied to reading, scrapbooking, knitting, acting, or any hobby or career a person decided to invest themselves in!
#1: Writing stays done.
Once those words are on the page, they stay there. When I turn my back, they don't disappear. No one messes them up. No one erases them. I don't have to rewrite them every 5, 15, or 30 minutes. It's permanent (as long as I backed them up on disk). I may have to revise, but that’s MY choice!
#2: It never complains.
My writing doesn't turn its nose up at what I cook for dinner. Doesn't turn into a prima donna when it doesn't get its way. Doesn't collapse to the floor in a tantrum of tears. Doesn't make seemingly innocent comments about being neglected.
#3: It shows up for an appointment.
Writing is always there. It never stands me up when I'm ready to work. Sure, I've suffered from writer's block plenty of times. But that's not the writing's fault, that's mine. I never have to worry that I'll set aside time to work and end up with no characters, plot, or ideas to work with.
#4: Writing Friends are willing to help.
I've never had a fellow author refuse to answer a question. Never had a brainstorming or critique partner tell me it was too much trouble to work on my book. Never had a Playfriend look exasperated when I asked for help or advice.
#5: Writing never makes me feel guilty.
It doesn't have a "poor pitiful me" look. Doesn't beg, whine, or tear up. Doesn't give me the cold shoulder. And is its own reward for hard work. I’ve felt guilty FOR writing, but again, that hang-up is mine.
#6: Which brings us back to #1: Writing stays done.
It doesn't disappear like my nice, neat flower beds after I've spent weeks digging grass out of them—only to have it grow back in two days.
People wonder why I want to use my free time writing, besides getting another contract? Because it makes the frustrations in life easier to deal with; it shows me the hope beyond the pain; it celebrates the love of friends and family (despite the dirty laundry); it takes me on a journey away from the mundane. Life wouldn't be life without it.
How does writing/reading help you cope with everyday life?
Dani
Have you ever driven all week in your car, rushing through all the To Dos on your schedule, only to have your car stop on Friday, right in the middle of the road?
Out of gas.
Sometimes our bodies and minds are like that. We go and do, because our family needs us, friends need us, employers demand us, and the muse is running on high. Before we know it, our tank is on empty and we want to do nothing more than collapse.
Because the car can’t keep going if we don’t fuel it up.
Commonly called “refilling the well”, the idea is to replenish your energy and Can Do spirit by giving back to yourself in a way that energizes your mind and body.
Unfortunately, I don’t read my energy meter very well, so I often find myself on E. I’m trying to be more mindful of this. As a mother… as a writer… as a wife… I need to reward my body and mind for all the hard work it does for me. And be gentle with myself.
So how do we refill the well? Some ideas:
1. Artist’s Date -- Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way recommends Artists Dates. This is the chance to go somewhere new and different – a museum, antique store, model home – anything that you’ve wanted to do but put off because its silly, unnecessary, or no one else wants to go. It is supposed to be done alone, and I can see why. If I take someone else with me, then I worry about whether they are having a good time, ready to leave, etc. Instead, immerse yourself in YOUR enjoyment of the experience.
2. Reward Day – My sister and I came up with this concept. Before I get so overwhelmed that I crash, I schedule a day to do only what I want to do. I read all day if I want. Eat (or order out) what I want to eat. Claim the big screen TV for myself. What defines your Ideal Day? Do it! No excuses! (and I don't want to hear how you don't have time. I REALLY don't have time. If I can do this once a month, so can you!)
3. Go to the movies – There’s nothing like vegging out with a great movie and popcorn. Check the local theaters and make seeing something YOU want to see a priority. Low on cash? See if you have a Dollar Theater in your area. I can go see a movie I missed in the regular theater at our local discount theater for about $5, including snacks.
4. Girls Night Out – Actually, it doesn’t have to be at night. Try lunch, coffee, shopping. You could even meet at Walmart – you have to get groceries sometime. I have a friend that I have “tea” with occasionally. Any girl time is refreshing and rewarding.
5. Share a movie or game night with your family or some friends once every couple of weeks. This helps you reconnect with those around you and remember what living is all about – laughter, companionship, and fun! Not just work, work, work.
6. I know we don’t all have large chunks of time to rejuvenate our spirits, so here are a few Minute Saviors – ideas that can take as little as 1 minute, or as much as 60.
So tell me, what do you do (or want to do) to refill your well?
Dani
**Next week we’ll talk about the ultimate way to refill your well: Retreat!
Unfortunately, I don’t read my energy meter very well, so I often find myself on E. I’m trying to be more mindful of this. As a mother… as a writer… as a wife… I need to reward my body and mind for all the hard work it does for me. And be gentle with myself.
So how do we refill the well? Some ideas:
1. Artist’s Date -- Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way recommends Artists Dates. This is the chance to go somewhere new and different – a museum, antique store, model home – anything that you’ve wanted to do but put off because its silly, unnecessary, or no one else wants to go. It is supposed to be done alone, and I can see why. If I take someone else with me, then I worry about whether they are having a good time, ready to leave, etc. Instead, immerse yourself in YOUR enjoyment of the experience.
2. Reward Day – My sister and I came up with this concept. Before I get so overwhelmed that I crash, I schedule a day to do only what I want to do. I read all day if I want. Eat (or order out) what I want to eat. Claim the big screen TV for myself. What defines your Ideal Day? Do it! No excuses! (and I don't want to hear how you don't have time. I REALLY don't have time. If I can do this once a month, so can you!)
3. Go to the movies – There’s nothing like vegging out with a great movie and popcorn. Check the local theaters and make seeing something YOU want to see a priority. Low on cash? See if you have a Dollar Theater in your area. I can go see a movie I missed in the regular theater at our local discount theater for about $5, including snacks.
4. Girls Night Out – Actually, it doesn’t have to be at night. Try lunch, coffee, shopping. You could even meet at Walmart – you have to get groceries sometime. I have a friend that I have “tea” with occasionally. Any girl time is refreshing and rewarding.
5. Share a movie or game night with your family or some friends once every couple of weeks. This helps you reconnect with those around you and remember what living is all about – laughter, companionship, and fun! Not just work, work, work.
6. I know we don’t all have large chunks of time to rejuvenate our spirits, so here are a few Minute Saviors – ideas that can take as little as 1 minute, or as much as 60.
- Put on headphones and listen to a few songs with your eyes closed.
- Utilize a personalized meditation app on your smart phone or iPod. I use a Simply Being meditation app that allows me to personalize the time and background music. It works great for me, and even my teenage daughter will use it sometimes.
- Lock the door and watch “your” show, even if you have to turn out the lights and pretend you aren’t home when your family knocks.
- Take a 30 minute reading break to help transition between “work” time and “home” time (if you can limit yourself – I can’t).
- Let yourself nap, even if its only laying in a dark room with your eyes closed for a mere 20 minutes.
So tell me, what do you do (or want to do) to refill your well?
Dani
**Next week we’ll talk about the ultimate way to refill your well: Retreat!