We’re working hard to slim down before RWA Nationals in July through healthy eating, exercise, sharing information, and accountability. Join us any time along the way, introduce yourself and post goals, or just contribute to the conversation! We’re here to share!
The biggest challenge in getting healthy, for me, is Mindset. It’s too easy to tell myself, Well, this once it won’t hurt to… One little cookie won’t make that much of a difference… Missing exercise just this once isn’t a big deal… But I feed myself these excuses again and again.
I let myself get away with things I shouldn’t because I won’t tell myself “No. You can’t have that (or that much).” My internal dialogue needs some serious adjusting.
I don’t think switching to all negative self-talk and beating myself up will help, but a gentle reminder of what I have to gain through self-restraint or continuing to work hard would go a long way towards changing my outlook and helping me confront temptation head on.
So I’m making a list of reminders to guide me until I can maintain a different internal dialogue. It needs to become second nature. So here are some ideas for more positive internal dialogue:
Food:
“Eating that will not make you feel better.”
“Your health is extremely important. Is eating this going to help you reach your health goals?”
The occasional “Not having that cake (cookies, etc) won’t kill you,” probably wouldn’t hurt either.
Exercise:
“Remember how good it feels to workout on the elliptical?”
“Exercising will help your body regulate your insulin and sugar better.”
“Moving will lift your mood.”
“Remember how the story ideas flow when you work out and crank up the music?”
General
“Being here for my family is more important than this moment.”
“I can write better and longer when I feel better physically.”
CHALLENGE: What are some positive internal thoughts that would help us reach our goals?
Share Your Progress! (even if the #s haven’t changed, we still have lots to celebrate)
Dani
Nationals or Bust Health Challenge: Week 1
Something very special happened last week. My sister, author Ella Sheridan, was chosen as a finalist in the Romance Writers of America Golden Heart awards. This means she will be attending an Awards Night and many events at the RWA National conference this summer in July. I was nervous enough about going to this conference, because it will be my first time there as a published author. As a "curvy girl", I've really wanted to get into better shape for it, but kept putting off the start date (we all know how that goes, right?).
Now we both have a reason to hunker down and get moving, but we hate to do it alone. We're hoping you will join us! Whether you are attending RWA Nationals or not, this will be a great time to band together and focus on our health through information, encouragement, and accountability. Participate as much or as little as you like, but the more you make your voice heard, the more encouragement we can offer and the more you'll get out of this process!
So let's begin:
Have A Plan!
We do it all the time with our writing. I'll write 2 scenes a day until... I'll finish plotting and start writing by... We make goals and plans so we can see our target and reach it! There's nothing more satisfying than marking a task off a list (okay, maybe that's just me) or standing at the top of a mountain looking over everything you've worked so hard to achieve. Eyes on the prize, baby! After all, you can't sell a book you haven't written. Just like the general "I'm gonna write a book someday" doesn't get anyone anywhere, so the "I'll just cut back on my eating and exercise" rarely nets any discernible results. So, yes, even you pantsters out there need a plan! We all want to lose weight to look and feel our best at National Conference in July. That's 15 weeks from today!![](http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wsSeTVQ/counter.png"></a>){kind=link}
You don't have to post your plan here, but having one will help you see what you've accomplished and what you need to work on. What you've gotten control over and what still needs more focus. I suggest 1 or 2 options:
1. Decide on a food and exercise plan, instituting it all at once. That's right, from Day 1. It might be a little overwhelming the first week or two (especially after all that Easter candy), but you'll soon settle into a groove.
2. If you need more variety, try creating a very basic plan, then adding on to it each week by introducing a new "focus". For instance, one week you can focus on adding more strength training to your exercise routine, or eating more veggies, or drinking a certain amount of water, or trying a new sport. This can keep things interesting.
Seriously, I'm nobody's motivational guru -- I've failed at more diets than most people have started. So when I post, I'm preaching to the choir here. But I've always worked better in a group and with accountability. I'd love to run into each and every one of you at Nationals and pat you on the back for all you've accomplished between now and then.
SO LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!! Introduce yourself in the comments and post your plan/goals if you want to. Each Wednesday we'll have a check-in for those who want to talk about their progress, problems, or pitfalls. Offer encouragement, advice, or high-fives -- we need them all.
I look forward to getting to know everyone. Invite your friends, and let's look back on these 15 weeks with pride, having found a few new friends along the way.
Dani Wade
Today, I wish...
I could write faster and cleaner, so I could get my stories out of my head and to my readers sooner!
I had no need for sleep, so I could have more time to spend with my family, despite writing and a full-time job.
I could lose 20 lbs eating cake and Krispy Kreme donuts. (Until then, I wish they made a special suit that transformed my body into a svelte goddess, but didn't cut off my circulation.)
Every house came equipped with a maid and a cook.
Karma would make an appointment for coming back to bite people who do harm just because they can -- so that I could be there to see it happen.
At the same time, I wish those who help others without thought to themselves could be rewarded 5X what they deserve! And I could hand deliver the reward!
Children could remember the important stuff they need me to do more than 5 minutes in advance.
That I could remember the important stuff more than 5 minutes in advance, without having to write it down!
Today, what do you wish for?
Dani
I love hearing from my readers! For every comment in the month of March, you are entered into a drawing for a $5 Amazon gift card. Simply comment with your email address. I'll draw for the winner on March 31st!
I've been through the whole gamut of parenting emotions as a writer. I've felt guilt over taking time away from my children, selfish for yearning for time to myself to "play" with my characters, and condemned by others for, in their estimation, putting my "hobby" above my family. But then again, I've also had the sincerity of being able to truthfully say to my children, "If you really want something, you'll work hard for it. Even when it seems impossible." I've had the joy of introducing my creative daughter to NaNo WriMo and discussing characters and plot with her. I've encouraged her to express her appreciation to authors whose books she's read, and shared the excitement of her first Readers' Luncheon. I've encourage my children to read outside of schoolwork and find it amazing that they don't whine when they get books for Christmas and birthday gifts. Most recently, my son has started creating his own comic books based on a video game he enjoys, with actual story lines. I can marvel over the story AND the artwork.
[caption id="attachment_343" align="aligncenter" width="150"]
"I sprinted over to my hidey-hole!"[/caption]
Being a writing mom, or any mom who has a passion and dream for something in addition to family, is a 2 sided coin. Sometimes it’s hard, and it hurts, but there are joys there to enrich and encourage your creative life. Ideally, that's how this would work. The encouragement from family would feed into that creativity, helping it flourish and expand. Sadly, that's not true in many writers’ lives, those who have family who either ignore or openly disdain their efforts. And even in the best family situation, trying times can drain a mother of the energy she needs for her work. But I’ve realized a few things that help me along:
1. The balance of family and writing will sometimes be unequal. I've faced the fact that I won't get nearly as much done during the summer, when we juggle babysitters and the kids are with me 99% of the time I'm not at the day job. And that's okay. I just have to find a way to work around it.
When I’m on deadline, I need more time and quiet to create faster. That means less time-intensive meals, more TV watching, and the house stays a little dirtier. But since it isn’t that often, we’ve still got some balance overall.
[caption id="attachment_344" align="aligncenter" width="150"]
"I made a workbench out of planks and used it."[/caption]
2. I need space, and that’s the way it is. This need doesn't take away from my family, but enhances it. When I am happy and creative, I'm a happy mother and wife. Doing what I need to take care of myself and refill my internal well is not selfish. An occasional hour alone, savoring the silence. The chance to read, losing myself in another author's story. Setting boundaries around writing time and expecting my children to respect them. All these things teach them respect, that dreams require hard work, and that mommies are people too.
3. That said, there are times when family will have to come first. Kids get sick, crisis happen, and life doesn't stop just because I've got a deadline. This was never more true than when I was pregnant. Mentally, I simply couldn't write, and I had to let go of the guilt from that. My family and my body was changing and that had to take priority. Sometimes it requires me to drink a 5 hour energy shot so I can write after the kids go to bed, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
4. I have a planner/plotter nature, but I also try to remember that the best laid plans won’t work every time. I try to look honestly at what I'm capable of, what my day job demands, what kind of events are going on in kiddie land, and whether or not my husband is going to be available to help. Then I write it all down (it’s the only way I can remember anything). That's the fun part for me, but then I have to walk it every day and sometimes change it as needed. Not so fun for me, but I try. :)
The balance between me, my needs, and how I operate isn’t always ideal for my life, but I try to realize that and work around it. What needs and personality traits do you have that help you in your daily life? Which are a hindrance?
"I sprinted over to my hidey-hole!"[/caption]
Being a writing mom, or any mom who has a passion and dream for something in addition to family, is a 2 sided coin. Sometimes it’s hard, and it hurts, but there are joys there to enrich and encourage your creative life. Ideally, that's how this would work. The encouragement from family would feed into that creativity, helping it flourish and expand. Sadly, that's not true in many writers’ lives, those who have family who either ignore or openly disdain their efforts. And even in the best family situation, trying times can drain a mother of the energy she needs for her work. But I’ve realized a few things that help me along:
1. The balance of family and writing will sometimes be unequal. I've faced the fact that I won't get nearly as much done during the summer, when we juggle babysitters and the kids are with me 99% of the time I'm not at the day job. And that's okay. I just have to find a way to work around it.
When I’m on deadline, I need more time and quiet to create faster. That means less time-intensive meals, more TV watching, and the house stays a little dirtier. But since it isn’t that often, we’ve still got some balance overall.
[caption id="attachment_344" align="aligncenter" width="150"]
"I made a workbench out of planks and used it."[/caption]
2. I need space, and that’s the way it is. This need doesn't take away from my family, but enhances it. When I am happy and creative, I'm a happy mother and wife. Doing what I need to take care of myself and refill my internal well is not selfish. An occasional hour alone, savoring the silence. The chance to read, losing myself in another author's story. Setting boundaries around writing time and expecting my children to respect them. All these things teach them respect, that dreams require hard work, and that mommies are people too.
3. That said, there are times when family will have to come first. Kids get sick, crisis happen, and life doesn't stop just because I've got a deadline. This was never more true than when I was pregnant. Mentally, I simply couldn't write, and I had to let go of the guilt from that. My family and my body was changing and that had to take priority. Sometimes it requires me to drink a 5 hour energy shot so I can write after the kids go to bed, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
4. I have a planner/plotter nature, but I also try to remember that the best laid plans won’t work every time. I try to look honestly at what I'm capable of, what my day job demands, what kind of events are going on in kiddie land, and whether or not my husband is going to be available to help. Then I write it all down (it’s the only way I can remember anything). That's the fun part for me, but then I have to walk it every day and sometimes change it as needed. Not so fun for me, but I try. :)
The balance between me, my needs, and how I operate isn’t always ideal for my life, but I try to realize that and work around it. What needs and personality traits do you have that help you in your daily life? Which are a hindrance?
There are some days when just looking at my To Do list can give me a panic attack. The list grows and grows, no matter now much I mark off of it. Until sometimes I can feel like I'm drowning in stuff that needs to be done.
Admitting that honestly showed me that there are many reasons as parents, spouses, writers, employees, etc, that we might feel the need to cut back on our responsibilities and commitments. For myself, I had to cut back when I had new babies, when I took on a job outside the home, and now that my oldest child has extra curricular activities that require being driven. But most recently I upped my day job to full-time and my downtime to non-existent because I've taken on too many commitments and find myself completely overwhelmed. I bet no one does that but me, huh?
1. Evaluate priorities.
I have this unbearable urge to throw up my hands and chuck it all -- but it doesn't stick with me for long. I'm too much of a planner (nice word for obsessive) for that. Way before any cutting or confirmation happens, take a step back and a good look at your goals and direction. For me, this means taking care of my family financially and emotionally. Then furthering my writing craft and publishing career, and preserving the joy of my creativity. Taking care of myself physically and emotionally, so I can do everything else on this list. Did I mention I need to breathe sometimes? Finally, taking care of my extended family and very close friends in a way that protects those relationships and allows me to show these people my love for them.
2. Line up commitments.
Then I put my compulsive list-making to good use! I make a long, long list of everything I've got going on (and it seems to grow every day -- how does THAT happen?). I like paper, some of my friends use computer programs. For those of you who aren't list-obsessive like me, maybe a mental checklist would work? Then compare those things to the priorities list. And yes, I'll admit to trying to spread my list-making disease. :)
3. The Dreaded Cut
This is the part I hate. Some things are so easy to give up, and others I really struggle with, but I always seem to feel better once the decision is made. As I mentioned earlier, between the job, writing, and growing children, I've had to make more and more cuts. I no longer have much time during the week to see friends, but I try to make time once a month to do that on a weekend. I try to do as many of my daughter's band activities as possible, but told her not to plan on going to any out of town competitions because of time/money. I’ve given up all of my local writing chapter volunteer duties and only volunteer for 1 event per year for each of the kids. I make it count – often heading up a function – but that’s the only thing I do.
But its not just about cutting, its about deciding what is important enough to keep. Is there a particular project that means a great deal to you? And by that, I mean almost as important as your family. Will this volunteer opportunity serve you or your career in some way? Why do you want to put it on the keep list? Do you have a full understanding of everything that it will entail?
4. Evaluate any new opportunities that come along
Yeah, I can Epic Fail at this one really easy, so I have to be really careful and uber aware.
Recently I had chance to work on a large organization committee. I'd just offloaded all of my local chapter responsibilities, and wasn't sure about adding anything back on. But after evaluating the Pros and Cons, the benefits outweighed the amount of time it would require of me -- so I took it. The point here is that I thought about it first. I didn't jump first and regret later.
Do you ever go back and reevaluate the chaos that is your life? How do you decide what to keep and when something's gotta go?
As a writer, I love my job. As a woman who can be a little high-strung, who juggles a full-time job and family, I worry about being able to give my best to my writing and not letting it be the thing that drives me over the edge. I found a cool post on Twitter by YA author Fiona Paul, where she gives tips on not letting your writing drive you crazy in 2013. Funny and informative! If you feel your moods swinging and reactions to little things a little on the grumpy side, you'll find this blog post as helpful as I did.
http://fionapaulbooks.blogspot.com/2012/12/how-not-to-let-your-writing-make-you.html
Life gets crazy bad sometimes and the past 2 weeks were definitely there for us. In the midst of finishing my edits, I lost my day job unexpectedly. This meant a week of prepping my resume, getting medications and doctors' appointments for everyone before we lost our insurance, etc. Lots of fear, frustration, and family support.
In the midst of the chaos, I remembered something...
Stress of any kind affects the creative process. For some, they hunker down and use the work to block out what's happening around them. I'm not one of these lucky artists.
Most often, stress blocks my creativity. Tuning into my characters and focusing on the story becomes very difficult for me. Through previous experience with writer's block, I know there are times I can push it and times I can't.
This week, I knew the distraction was just the emotional chaos around and inside of me, not the writing itself, so I was able to push forward. Not easily, but I could. I had someone double check my work, because I didn't trust that some of my distraction wasn't leaking onto the page, but I got the work done. Now I'm down to just a final readthru before turning in a round of edits to my editor at Harlequin Desire. And I gained the satisfaction of knowing I could go on and complete that work despite the panic and upset of the last 2 weeks.
I'd like to share a couple of things I've learned, so if you find yourself in similar chaos, this might work for you:
1. Return to the Page
When true lack of focus hits hard, it can be difficult to even show up at the page, much less write anything. But I've found that the best solution IS to show up, write for however long you can, and accept that the time on the page may be short. I literally spent 5 hours in bed with my computer the day after I was fired. Did I get a lot accomplished? No. Maybe 10 pages of easy edits. I would read for a little while, then realize that I'd drifted away for 30 minutes, staring into nothing or watching television without really seeing it. But instead of punishing myself, I just brought my focus back to the page for however long I could. This routine was repeated on and off throughout the day. I didn't accomplish an astonishing amount, but I had the satisfaction of having done something without psychologically whipping myself over things I really couldn't control.
The next day was better, and the next. I'll never work at top speed when my life is stressful, but that's okay. I can still write.
2. Cut Yourself Some Slack
Hi, I'm Dani Wade, and I have anger management issues>>I constantly beat myself up.
This is something I'm also working on, but progress can be slow at times. I'm highly self-critical, and expect close to perfection in many areas of my life (yes, I do realize this is unrealistic, and I'm working on that). One major area of progress is in cutting myself some slack -- when I know its just one of those days when pushing through isn't going to help, I give in, back off, and rest. I know when I can push, but when I can't, I don't make it worse by continuing to pile on the pressure. Take a day off, or at least a couple of hours, and give the brain a rest. Taking care of my brain through rest, exercise, (mostly) nutritious eating means it will reward me by letting me reconnect with my story.
I'll continue to repeat this process until the distractions pass, looking forward to the day when the connection is completely open.
So how do you get through the tough writing times?
Dani
Women have lots of frustrations – wash clothes and someone puts more in the dirty clothes hamper, wash dishes and someone uses a glass! Even at work, I put in a round of account payments and more show up.
So today I've decided to talk about why I'm addicted to writing. I know my family must often wonder why I'd prefer to fritter away my time putting words on paper rather than doing their dirty laundry. Well, they'll find the answer in the following (if they were allowed to read it):
**Caveat: These same reasons could also be applied to reading, scrapbooking, knitting, acting, or any hobby or career a person decided to invest themselves in!
#1: Writing stays done.
Once those words are on the page, they stay there. When I turn my back, they don't disappear. No one messes them up. No one erases them. I don't have to rewrite them every 5, 15, or 30 minutes. It's permanent (as long as I backed them up on disk). I may have to revise, but that’s MY choice!
#2: It never complains.
My writing doesn't turn its nose up at what I cook for dinner. Doesn't turn into a prima donna when it doesn't get its way. Doesn't collapse to the floor in a tantrum of tears. Doesn't make seemingly innocent comments about being neglected.
#3: It shows up for an appointment.
Writing is always there. It never stands me up when I'm ready to work. Sure, I've suffered from writer's block plenty of times. But that's not the writing's fault, that's mine. I never have to worry that I'll set aside time to work and end up with no characters, plot, or ideas to work with.
#4: Writing Friends are willing to help.
I've never had a fellow author refuse to answer a question. Never had a brainstorming or critique partner tell me it was too much trouble to work on my book. Never had a Playfriend look exasperated when I asked for help or advice.
#5: Writing never makes me feel guilty.
It doesn't have a "poor pitiful me" look. Doesn't beg, whine, or tear up. Doesn't give me the cold shoulder. And is its own reward for hard work. I’ve felt guilty FOR writing, but again, that hang-up is mine.
#6: Which brings us back to #1: Writing stays done.
It doesn't disappear like my nice, neat flower beds after I've spent weeks digging grass out of them—only to have it grow back in two days.
People wonder why I want to use my free time writing, besides getting another contract? Because it makes the frustrations in life easier to deal with; it shows me the hope beyond the pain; it celebrates the love of friends and family (despite the dirty laundry); it takes me on a journey away from the mundane. Life wouldn't be life without it.
How does writing/reading help you cope with everyday life?
Dani
So today I've decided to talk about why I'm addicted to writing. I know my family must often wonder why I'd prefer to fritter away my time putting words on paper rather than doing their dirty laundry. Well, they'll find the answer in the following (if they were allowed to read it):
**Caveat: These same reasons could also be applied to reading, scrapbooking, knitting, acting, or any hobby or career a person decided to invest themselves in!
#1: Writing stays done.
Once those words are on the page, they stay there. When I turn my back, they don't disappear. No one messes them up. No one erases them. I don't have to rewrite them every 5, 15, or 30 minutes. It's permanent (as long as I backed them up on disk). I may have to revise, but that’s MY choice!
#2: It never complains.
My writing doesn't turn its nose up at what I cook for dinner. Doesn't turn into a prima donna when it doesn't get its way. Doesn't collapse to the floor in a tantrum of tears. Doesn't make seemingly innocent comments about being neglected.
#3: It shows up for an appointment.
Writing is always there. It never stands me up when I'm ready to work. Sure, I've suffered from writer's block plenty of times. But that's not the writing's fault, that's mine. I never have to worry that I'll set aside time to work and end up with no characters, plot, or ideas to work with.
#4: Writing Friends are willing to help.
I've never had a fellow author refuse to answer a question. Never had a brainstorming or critique partner tell me it was too much trouble to work on my book. Never had a Playfriend look exasperated when I asked for help or advice.
#5: Writing never makes me feel guilty.
It doesn't have a "poor pitiful me" look. Doesn't beg, whine, or tear up. Doesn't give me the cold shoulder. And is its own reward for hard work. I’ve felt guilty FOR writing, but again, that hang-up is mine.
#6: Which brings us back to #1: Writing stays done.
It doesn't disappear like my nice, neat flower beds after I've spent weeks digging grass out of them—only to have it grow back in two days.
People wonder why I want to use my free time writing, besides getting another contract? Because it makes the frustrations in life easier to deal with; it shows me the hope beyond the pain; it celebrates the love of friends and family (despite the dirty laundry); it takes me on a journey away from the mundane. Life wouldn't be life without it.
How does writing/reading help you cope with everyday life?
Dani
This week I read a blog that served as a huge wake-up call for me as a writer. There are so many things that become a distraction to the joy of writing once you decide to pursue publication -- critiques, pressure, questions, rejections, other people's opinions, deadlines. It can get really hard to retain that connection with the process of creating, especially when combined with internal worries and self-doubt.
[caption id="attachment_154" align="aligncenter" width="214"] Why do YOU write?[/caption]
Cynthia's very simple solution is a great reminder to writers to "check in" when the joy gets lost in the seas of chaos.
Check it out!
http://www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com/why-do-you-write/
Dani
Why do YOU write?[/caption]
Cynthia's very simple solution is a great reminder to writers to "check in" when the joy gets lost in the seas of chaos.
Check it out!
http://www.rubyslipperedsisterhood.com/why-do-you-write/
Dani
Have you ever driven all week in your car, rushing through all the To Dos on your schedule, only to have your car stop on Friday, right in the middle of the road?
Out of gas.
Sometimes our bodies and minds are like that. We go and do, because our family needs us, friends need us, employers demand us, and the muse is running on high. Before we know it, our tank is on empty and we want to do nothing more than collapse.
Because the car can’t keep going if we don’t fuel it up.
Commonly called “refilling the well”, the idea is to replenish your energy and Can Do spirit by giving back to yourself in a way that energizes your mind and body.
Unfortunately, I don’t read my energy meter very well, so I often find myself on E. I’m trying to be more mindful of this. As a mother… as a writer… as a wife… I need to reward my body and mind for all the hard work it does for me. And be gentle with myself.
So how do we refill the well? Some ideas:
1. Artist’s Date -- Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way recommends Artists Dates. This is the chance to go somewhere new and different – a museum, antique store, model home – anything that you’ve wanted to do but put off because its silly, unnecessary, or no one else wants to go. It is supposed to be done alone, and I can see why. If I take someone else with me, then I worry about whether they are having a good time, ready to leave, etc. Instead, immerse yourself in YOUR enjoyment of the experience.
2. Reward Day – My sister and I came up with this concept. Before I get so overwhelmed that I crash, I schedule a day to do only what I want to do. I read all day if I want. Eat (or order out) what I want to eat. Claim the big screen TV for myself. What defines your Ideal Day? Do it! No excuses! (and I don't want to hear how you don't have time. I REALLY don't have time. If I can do this once a month, so can you!)
3. Go to the movies – There’s nothing like vegging out with a great movie and popcorn. Check the local theaters and make seeing something YOU want to see a priority. Low on cash? See if you have a Dollar Theater in your area. I can go see a movie I missed in the regular theater at our local discount theater for about $5, including snacks.
4. Girls Night Out – Actually, it doesn’t have to be at night. Try lunch, coffee, shopping. You could even meet at Walmart – you have to get groceries sometime. I have a friend that I have “tea” with occasionally. Any girl time is refreshing and rewarding.
5. Share a movie or game night with your family or some friends once every couple of weeks. This helps you reconnect with those around you and remember what living is all about – laughter, companionship, and fun! Not just work, work, work.
6. I know we don’t all have large chunks of time to rejuvenate our spirits, so here are a few Minute Saviors – ideas that can take as little as 1 minute, or as much as 60.
So tell me, what do you do (or want to do) to refill your well?
Dani
**Next week we’ll talk about the ultimate way to refill your well: Retreat!
Unfortunately, I don’t read my energy meter very well, so I often find myself on E. I’m trying to be more mindful of this. As a mother… as a writer… as a wife… I need to reward my body and mind for all the hard work it does for me. And be gentle with myself.
So how do we refill the well? Some ideas:
1. Artist’s Date -- Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way recommends Artists Dates. This is the chance to go somewhere new and different – a museum, antique store, model home – anything that you’ve wanted to do but put off because its silly, unnecessary, or no one else wants to go. It is supposed to be done alone, and I can see why. If I take someone else with me, then I worry about whether they are having a good time, ready to leave, etc. Instead, immerse yourself in YOUR enjoyment of the experience.
2. Reward Day – My sister and I came up with this concept. Before I get so overwhelmed that I crash, I schedule a day to do only what I want to do. I read all day if I want. Eat (or order out) what I want to eat. Claim the big screen TV for myself. What defines your Ideal Day? Do it! No excuses! (and I don't want to hear how you don't have time. I REALLY don't have time. If I can do this once a month, so can you!)
3. Go to the movies – There’s nothing like vegging out with a great movie and popcorn. Check the local theaters and make seeing something YOU want to see a priority. Low on cash? See if you have a Dollar Theater in your area. I can go see a movie I missed in the regular theater at our local discount theater for about $5, including snacks.
4. Girls Night Out – Actually, it doesn’t have to be at night. Try lunch, coffee, shopping. You could even meet at Walmart – you have to get groceries sometime. I have a friend that I have “tea” with occasionally. Any girl time is refreshing and rewarding.
5. Share a movie or game night with your family or some friends once every couple of weeks. This helps you reconnect with those around you and remember what living is all about – laughter, companionship, and fun! Not just work, work, work.
6. I know we don’t all have large chunks of time to rejuvenate our spirits, so here are a few Minute Saviors – ideas that can take as little as 1 minute, or as much as 60.
- Put on headphones and listen to a few songs with your eyes closed.
- Utilize a personalized meditation app on your smart phone or iPod. I use a Simply Being meditation app that allows me to personalize the time and background music. It works great for me, and even my teenage daughter will use it sometimes.
- Lock the door and watch “your” show, even if you have to turn out the lights and pretend you aren’t home when your family knocks.
- Take a 30 minute reading break to help transition between “work” time and “home” time (if you can limit yourself – I can’t).
- Let yourself nap, even if its only laying in a dark room with your eyes closed for a mere 20 minutes.
So tell me, what do you do (or want to do) to refill your well?
Dani
**Next week we’ll talk about the ultimate way to refill your well: Retreat!