I'm celebrating release day for Finding Her Rhythm, my new Indie release, with the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood today! Join us for a party and the chance to win an Amazon/B&N gift card.
This first installment in the Backstage Pass series is up on Amazon, B&N, and Smashwords. Find it here:
Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Rhythm-Backstage-Series-ebook/dp/B00CJJIDXQ/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1367209600&sr=8-1&keywords=Dani+Wade+Finding+Her+Rhythm
B&N http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/finding-her-rhythm-dani-wade/1115212849?ean=2940016725956
Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/310438
This week, my Book Worm will take a trip for a band competition and be gone to a major theme part for 5 days -- without me.
*knees go weak*
You see, as a creative person, my imagination isn't always used for good. As a matter of fact, we authors often look for the best way to screw up our characters' lives, because it makes the emotional payoff that much higher in the end. So when imagining everything that could happen to her while she's gone, my brain goes to Worst Case Scenario first.
From the Extreme: What if she's kidnapped from the park? What if her belt isn't tight enough on the rides?
Then there's the milder "mommy" worries: What if she gets lost in the park and gets scared? What if she gets sick and is afraid to ask for help? What if she spends all her money and doesn't have enough left for meals?
This imagination can so work against me here. Even though I'm friends with the Mom in charge of her walking group, the fears still run rampant.
This is a big trust challenge for her too. Because I do know that Mom, I'll really know how she acts that far away from me. Since middle school this has been a bit of a challenge. So, that's a slight fear too. Which only feeds the worry Monster.
What's the way to alleviate this? Well, I don't have a lot of answers here. I can't make it go away altogether. But I'm trying to at least lower the worry quotient by:
1. Redirecting my thoughts. Distraction is my friend during these times, as well as Facebook. :)
2. Talk to her. Instead of bombarding her all at once, I've been dropping little tidbits like, "Pay attention and don't wander from your group for any reason" when I can slip it naturally into the conversation. It helps that she's so excited that she wants to talk about the trip ALL THE TIME.
3. Pray. Being a Mom has strengthened my need for faith. I can't be with her always, but God can. I believe He hears every fervent prayer, and won't allow anything to happen that we can't handle with His help.
4. Remember, we've been teaching her for years. She can't prove herself trustworthy without the opportunity. And mistakes are the best learning experiences -- even if, as a mother, I'd rather not see her have to experience anything bad.
So I'm open to advice about surviving this new milestone (especially since I'm sure I'll face many more of these moments during the teen years).
Dani
P.S. Check in tomorrow! It's Release Day for Finding Her Rhythm!!!!
We’re working hard to slim down before RWA Nationals in July through healthy eating, exercise, sharing information, and accountability. Join us any time along the way, introduce yourself and post goals, or just contribute to the conversation! We’re here to share!
Today I have the privilege of hosting my own sister, Ella Sheridan, as she shares some motivation from her own journey!
Don't Wish For It; Work For It.
Over the past few months, this has become my mantra. I’ve spent a lot of the last thirty or so years wishing my weight was something it wasn’t, wishing my body was different, wishing everything I wanted wasn’t so hard. And you know what? Wishing got me exactly what I put into it: almost nothing.
About two years ago, I tore my rotator cuff in my right shoulder during karate training. It was an accident brought on totally by me, not my partner (I turned the wrong way during a throw). I went to the doctor, went through physical therapy, but the injury never truly healed. Finally, last November, my husband and I decided enough was enough and I went back to the orthopedist, who scheduled me for surgery. The week before Christmas, I was under the knife with a minimum four-month recovery period ahead of me.
Yeah, not an easy task.
Here’s the thing: shoulders rotate more than any joint in the body. Can you imagine how hard it is to function when that rotation is now severely limited by ultratight screws, ties, and anchors? Very hard. I was unable to do any cardio exercise for around two months because the jarring hurt so badly, but I came out of therapy three times a week sweating like a dog and crying because it hurt so horribly just to stretch. I had to do it, though; there was no other choice, not if I wanted to heal and heal right.
As time went on, the therapists and I noticed something that frustrated us both. I couldn’t relax enough to let them take me from mostly healed to completely healed. I didn’t trust them enough not to hurt me beyond what I could bear, and so they could only push me so far. (Honestly, they told me just about every session that they’d never had a patient with such horrible trust issues, lol.) To get beyond where they could take me, I had to do it; if I ever wanted full function of my shoulder again, I had to be the one to push myself, not them. Considering I’m a black-belt karate instructor and need full function to continue teaching, wishing and not working was not an option.
So I did the work.
Every day, my shoulder gets stronger. It might be months before I have complete rotational ability again, but I will get there. And it might be months before I arrive at a good, stable, healthy weight for me, but I will get there. I’m now willing to do the work, not just wish the work was done and I looked the way I want to. We all have to be willing to do the work to be healthy, happy writers. That means overcoming obstacles, sacrificing what we need to sacrifice, refusing to accept our own excuses, and committing to long-term diligence, not just this day or this week or this month.
We have. To do. The work.
Will I ever be skinny? No. Will that wish I had as a teenager of being like all the other thin girls who never have to worry about what they eat ever come true? No. But I can and will be healthy. I can and will be the best I can be in the body God gave me. I can and will…if I do the work.
Challenge: Where could you put more effort into your workouts? Eating habits? Stress relief? Share with us today!
Today I have the privilege of hosting my own sister, Ella Sheridan, as she shares some motivation from her own journey!
Don't Wish For It; Work For It.
Over the past few months, this has become my mantra. I’ve spent a lot of the last thirty or so years wishing my weight was something it wasn’t, wishing my body was different, wishing everything I wanted wasn’t so hard. And you know what? Wishing got me exactly what I put into it: almost nothing.
About two years ago, I tore my rotator cuff in my right shoulder during karate training. It was an accident brought on totally by me, not my partner (I turned the wrong way during a throw). I went to the doctor, went through physical therapy, but the injury never truly healed. Finally, last November, my husband and I decided enough was enough and I went back to the orthopedist, who scheduled me for surgery. The week before Christmas, I was under the knife with a minimum four-month recovery period ahead of me.
Yeah, not an easy task.
Here’s the thing: shoulders rotate more than any joint in the body. Can you imagine how hard it is to function when that rotation is now severely limited by ultratight screws, ties, and anchors? Very hard. I was unable to do any cardio exercise for around two months because the jarring hurt so badly, but I came out of therapy three times a week sweating like a dog and crying because it hurt so horribly just to stretch. I had to do it, though; there was no other choice, not if I wanted to heal and heal right.
As time went on, the therapists and I noticed something that frustrated us both. I couldn’t relax enough to let them take me from mostly healed to completely healed. I didn’t trust them enough not to hurt me beyond what I could bear, and so they could only push me so far. (Honestly, they told me just about every session that they’d never had a patient with such horrible trust issues, lol.) To get beyond where they could take me, I had to do it; if I ever wanted full function of my shoulder again, I had to be the one to push myself, not them. Considering I’m a black-belt karate instructor and need full function to continue teaching, wishing and not working was not an option.
So I did the work.
Every day, my shoulder gets stronger. It might be months before I have complete rotational ability again, but I will get there. And it might be months before I arrive at a good, stable, healthy weight for me, but I will get there. I’m now willing to do the work, not just wish the work was done and I looked the way I want to. We all have to be willing to do the work to be healthy, happy writers. That means overcoming obstacles, sacrificing what we need to sacrifice, refusing to accept our own excuses, and committing to long-term diligence, not just this day or this week or this month.
We have. To do. The work.
Will I ever be skinny? No. Will that wish I had as a teenager of being like all the other thin girls who never have to worry about what they eat ever come true? No. But I can and will be healthy. I can and will be the best I can be in the body God gave me. I can and will…if I do the work.
Challenge: Where could you put more effort into your workouts? Eating habits? Stress relief? Share with us today!
I'm a busy woman! Somehow I managed to book myself in 2 places on 1 day. How'd that happen?
But I know you'll love these blogs (and I could use all the comment-love I can get)! So join me as I visit these fabulous blogs:
I'm sharing my First Call story with the Pink Heart Society Blog: www.pinkheartsociety.blogspot.com
And I'm an Author Spotlight on Anne Lange's blog: http://authorannelange.com/2013/04/24/author-spotlight-dani-wade/
I'm blogging with my Ruby Sisters today about when you should or shouldn't keep your writing and personal lives separate. Join us for the discussion! www.RubySlipperedSisterhood.com
We’re working hard to slim down before RWA Nationals in July through healthy eating, exercise, sharing information, and accountability. Join us any time along the way, introduce yourself and post goals, or just contribute to the conversation! We’re here to share!
I usually find that about Week 3 I start to run out of motivation – that surge of energy that keeps me on track with various levels of enthusiasm. Usually because results can be hard to come by with my health issues.
Sine I’m no motivational guru (I need more advice than I can give on this topic), I’ve searched the web for interesting sites and strategies we can all utilize to keep us moving forward.
The Healthy Writer Blog www.healthywriter.com
Calorie Counter www.calorieking.com
Healthy Living Articles www.dailydietmotivation.com
Shape Magazine www.shape.com
Prevention Magazine www.prevention.com
Kaizen Blog (links to diet posts) http://smallstepstobigchange.com/?cat=284
Trackers:
www.sparkpeople.com
www.mynetdiary.com
Don't forget searches on YouTube and Pinterest for diet motivation, exercises, and healthy cooking.
CHALLENGE: Where do you find your motivation? What keeps you moving forward?
Share Your Progress! (even if the #s haven’t changed, we still have lots to celebrate)
Dani 
Today is April 15th, and the Tax Man cometh...whether you're ready or not! I know, I too could use something to smile about after the stress of paying taxes (not to mention the stress of getting the paperwork right!). So I played my usual mind games to help myself forget about the stress and deadlines. I usually take a mental break and dream about my characters, but instead I dreamed of what might happen if the Tax Man looked like this:
Or maybe like this:
Or if, when he showed up, it might end up something like this:
But no...I just had to pay instead. *cries* Oh well, at least I get to spend the day with great readers like y'all!!! I love hearing from readers too, so share with us who YOUR fantasy Tax Man would be (actor? singer? book hero?). Comment with your email address and be entered to win an advanced electronic copy of my newest release, Finding Her Rhythm! Its not available until April 30th for everybody else!
Find more Tax Day Fun at these cool websites:
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We’re working hard to slim down before RWA Nationals in July through healthy eating, exercise, sharing information, and accountability. Join us any time along the way, introduce yourself and post goals, or just contribute to the conversation! We’re here to share!
The biggest challenge in getting healthy, for me, is Mindset. It’s too easy to tell myself, Well, this once it won’t hurt to… One little cookie won’t make that much of a difference… Missing exercise just this once isn’t a big deal… But I feed myself these excuses again and again.
I let myself get away with things I shouldn’t because I won’t tell myself “No. You can’t have that (or that much).” My internal dialogue needs some serious adjusting.
I don’t think switching to all negative self-talk and beating myself up will help, but a gentle reminder of what I have to gain through self-restraint or continuing to work hard would go a long way towards changing my outlook and helping me confront temptation head on.
So I’m making a list of reminders to guide me until I can maintain a different internal dialogue. It needs to become second nature. So here are some ideas for more positive internal dialogue:
Food:
“Eating that will not make you feel better.”
“Your health is extremely important. Is eating this going to help you reach your health goals?”
The occasional “Not having that cake (cookies, etc) won’t kill you,” probably wouldn’t hurt either.
Exercise:
“Remember how good it feels to workout on the elliptical?”
“Exercising will help your body regulate your insulin and sugar better.”
“Moving will lift your mood.”
“Remember how the story ideas flow when you work out and crank up the music?”
General
“Being here for my family is more important than this moment.”
“I can write better and longer when I feel better physically.”
CHALLENGE: What are some positive internal thoughts that would help us reach our goals?
Share Your Progress! (even if the #s haven’t changed, we still have lots to celebrate)
Dani
Aargh! I’m drowning in work stuff, kid stuff, writing stuff…and now my brain has said its HAD ENOUGH!
Sound familiar? Or am I the only over-achiever wannabe in the room? I want to be the best Mom, wife, daughter, employee, writer I can be. Until I run down with exhaustion. Not good.
So I’m adopting a concept I’ve used with my kids and have heard of others doing. I take a “Mental Health Day”. As a planner, mine have an agenda, of course. They must involve some combination of the following:
1. No work.
That means no day job (if I have PTO, sometimes even if I don’t), but sometimes I schedule it for those oh-too-few Monday holidays. It also means no writing, typing, research, blogging, etc. Yes, writing is fun, but its work for the brain – which needs rest and recuperation.
2. Have fun.
No dishes or laundry. Only activities that I enjoy and refill my depleted energy and enthusiasm. Mine include: reading, watching movies, and scrapbooking.
3. Take a nap.
My perfect day includes an uninterrupted nap. That’s just me. You might have a different heavenly activity, but I love to snuggle down into a fuzzy blanket mid-afternoon and drift away for a while.
I don't get to indulge in them nearly often enough, but I think days whose sole purpose is to renew and refresh your brain are very important. Those are my 3 must-haves for a perfect Mental Health Day. What are yours?
Sound familiar? Or am I the only over-achiever wannabe in the room? I want to be the best Mom, wife, daughter, employee, writer I can be. Until I run down with exhaustion. Not good.
So I’m adopting a concept I’ve used with my kids and have heard of others doing. I take a “Mental Health Day”. As a planner, mine have an agenda, of course. They must involve some combination of the following:
1. No work.
That means no day job (if I have PTO, sometimes even if I don’t), but sometimes I schedule it for those oh-too-few Monday holidays. It also means no writing, typing, research, blogging, etc. Yes, writing is fun, but its work for the brain – which needs rest and recuperation.
2. Have fun.
No dishes or laundry. Only activities that I enjoy and refill my depleted energy and enthusiasm. Mine include: reading, watching movies, and scrapbooking.
3. Take a nap.
My perfect day includes an uninterrupted nap. That’s just me. You might have a different heavenly activity, but I love to snuggle down into a fuzzy blanket mid-afternoon and drift away for a while.
I don't get to indulge in them nearly often enough, but I think days whose sole purpose is to renew and refresh your brain are very important. Those are my 3 must-haves for a perfect Mental Health Day. What are yours?
Nationals or Bust Health Challenge: Week 1
Something very special happened last week. My sister, author Ella Sheridan, was chosen as a finalist in the Romance Writers of America Golden Heart awards. This means she will be attending an Awards Night and many events at the RWA National conference this summer in July. I was nervous enough about going to this conference, because it will be my first time there as a published author. As a "curvy girl", I've really wanted to get into better shape for it, but kept putting off the start date (we all know how that goes, right?).
Now we both have a reason to hunker down and get moving, but we hate to do it alone. We're hoping you will join us! Whether you are attending RWA Nationals or not, this will be a great time to band together and focus on our health through information, encouragement, and accountability. Participate as much or as little as you like, but the more you make your voice heard, the more encouragement we can offer and the more you'll get out of this process!
So let's begin:
Have A Plan!
We do it all the time with our writing. I'll write 2 scenes a day until... I'll finish plotting and start writing by... We make goals and plans so we can see our target and reach it! There's nothing more satisfying than marking a task off a list (okay, maybe that's just me) or standing at the top of a mountain looking over everything you've worked so hard to achieve. Eyes on the prize, baby! After all, you can't sell a book you haven't written. Just like the general "I'm gonna write a book someday" doesn't get anyone anywhere, so the "I'll just cut back on my eating and exercise" rarely nets any discernible results. So, yes, even you pantsters out there need a plan! We all want to lose weight to look and feel our best at National Conference in July. That's 15 weeks from today!![](http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wsSeTVQ/counter.png"></a>){kind=link}
You don't have to post your plan here, but having one will help you see what you've accomplished and what you need to work on. What you've gotten control over and what still needs more focus. I suggest 1 or 2 options:
1. Decide on a food and exercise plan, instituting it all at once. That's right, from Day 1. It might be a little overwhelming the first week or two (especially after all that Easter candy), but you'll soon settle into a groove.
2. If you need more variety, try creating a very basic plan, then adding on to it each week by introducing a new "focus". For instance, one week you can focus on adding more strength training to your exercise routine, or eating more veggies, or drinking a certain amount of water, or trying a new sport. This can keep things interesting.
Seriously, I'm nobody's motivational guru -- I've failed at more diets than most people have started. So when I post, I'm preaching to the choir here. But I've always worked better in a group and with accountability. I'd love to run into each and every one of you at Nationals and pat you on the back for all you've accomplished between now and then.
SO LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!! Introduce yourself in the comments and post your plan/goals if you want to. Each Wednesday we'll have a check-in for those who want to talk about their progress, problems, or pitfalls. Offer encouragement, advice, or high-fives -- we need them all.
I look forward to getting to know everyone. Invite your friends, and let's look back on these 15 weeks with pride, having found a few new friends along the way.
Dani Wade